Purposing to push past page 1

I got a new book today. I opened it up and couldn’t even get through the first page because it went right over my head. Word after word...I had no idea what I was reading or even how to pronounce half the words. I closed the book, and for a few minutes, I sat there and felt stupid. I’m not used to feeling stupid...yes, I know there are more things I DON’T know than I DO know, but while I am aware that on the scale of knowledge I fall on the short side, I know I am a fairly intelligent person. The first page of this book, for a moment, made me doubt my capacity to understand its contents.

For a moment.

But then I opened my bible to Psalm 19:7–11, a place that always assures me that the Lord is the One who reveals His truth and His mysteries...and that they are worth searching out. 

“The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; The statues of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them Your servant is warned, and in keeping them there is great reward.”

As I read this Psalm, I prayed, and as I prayed, I thanked the Lord that I have not once felt stupid when I have read His word...even when I have not understood what I read, even though I have always known there were mysteries encased within that I have not yet even glimpsed, I have NEVER felt as though I fell too short when reading the word of God. Because, like this Psalm says, God is not just for the one who understands what the big words mean, He is also for the simple [that’s me] and for that I am grateful.

Will I open this book again? Yes, I will. It’s a book on eschatology (which I learned means “study of the end times”); diving into biblical history and interpreting the prophecies of scripture. Even in the short conversation with my husband after I prayed, I realized that when he tells me what these big words mean, I know the scripture he is describing, I just don’t know the terms that men have put on them. I will venture back in because I want to know and understand more.

Honestly, this area of learning is sort of scary for me...it forces me to trust someone for truth...I’m not good at doing that. I have been told a LOT of stuff over the years; I have been fed truth twisted by lies, as well as lies concealed under a facade of truth. We also live in an age of information where we are bombarded with people’s thoughts and opinions. Over the last 11 years I have spent hours and hours in scripture as the Lord has sifted my theology, blowing away the sand so that my feet rest on a solid, immovable Rock. The Bible is my measuring stick...if thoughts, opinions or musings don’t align with it, they are wrong. I don’t want thoughts, opinions and musings, I want TRUTH. But when it comes to eschatology, I can’t find what I need to learn inside the pages of Scripture, I have to trust someone for that information. And for me, that is scary. I am grateful for the Spirit inside me Who will be faithful to help me discern, and for godly, seasoned saints who I can trust to direct me to resources to learn from.

So yes, it might take me a while to get past the first pages of this book, but I believe that we are in a time where we must root ourselves as deep in the Truth as we possibly can. We MUST know what we believe and why we believe it and who God is and what the Truth is that we live (and may one day die) for, because there are winds coming that will rail on us and if we are not rooted, we will fall. 

“Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near...” Isaiah 55:6

“Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3

Comfort from the book of Isaiah

"O you afflicted one, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems, and lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of rubies, your gates of crystal, and all your walls of precious stones.” Isaiah 54:11–12

words to His afflicted
©10-5-14 hannah mclean

o you, My afflicted child,
whom storms have tossed
and whose tired hands 
have failed to find comfort

I have seen you
in your struggles
caught your tears
and heard your fighting gasps

but you must know
with every breath filled with wonder
with pangs and fears you've felt alone
wisdom stood, unseen beside you
while holy hands, unseen, have honed

for you,
My dear afflicted child
you are the temple where I dwell
and it is I who bring your beauty

I have built you, my temple
I have laid beneath your feet
a foundation
that will not shake
on which I’ve fashioned walls
that will not fall
and raised up pinnacles
that will not topple
and I have filled you
with My all

o you, My afflicted child,
whom storms have tossed
and whose tired hands
have failed to find comfort

all is not lost
for if you, with hanging head
would open up your eyes
to look upon your feet
you would see what the pains
of life have borne you

for etched upon your foundations
and climbing up your walls
and set upon your pinnacles
I am covering you,
my beautiful dwelling place,
with precious stones

for you,
My dear afflicted child
you are the temple where I dwell
and it is I who bring your beauty