observing too much
©2-27-10 hannah mclean
my eyes cannot
my mind cannot
my heart cannot
it is too much
pain crescendos
tears cascade
i cannot close my eyes
because You want me to see
i cannot close my mind
because You want me to know
I cannot close my heart
because You want me to feel
i find myself before You
with a plea
“come, Lord Jesus,
i cannot bear to watch”
it is too much
clinging to You
i find that
Your eyes protect mine
Your mind surrounds mine
Your heart soothes mine
it is too much
but You are more
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Christ's Freedom
Corinthians 6:4–12 “But as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything. We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections.”
As I’ve been reading the Word lately, the passages that have struck me with great intensity have displayed immense freedom from man. As a general rule, I believe we have a human desire to please, to be affirmed and to be approved of. But as I read these passages, I see that this desire has most often been misplaced. We desire to please each other, to be affirmed and approved of by our fellow man, when this desire should instead first fall on the Lord.
Oh, to please the Lord! To be affirmed and approved of by Him!
This difference is immense and the results are infinite. When we are bound to the opinions of man, we are susceptible to the whims of sinful minds and hearts. We are fallen men and women with fallible morals and character. But on the flip side, when this human desire is rightly placed on honoring our Creator, we find a beautiful freedom. Freedom from man means freedom to live for God.
This freedom was painted to perfection in the man of Christ. Consider this passage from Isaiah, where there is a description of Christ on the night He was betrayed and wrongfully condemned to death. Isaiah 50:6–7: “I gave my back to those who strike, and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard; I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting. But the Lord God helped me, therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.” This passage literally made me crumple as through my mind flashed passages and pictures of what Christ went through. He was taken in the night by an army of soldiers, put in chains and dragged before a panel of judges for a facade of a trial in which He was falsely accused, mocked, spit upon, beaten, taunted and tormented. He was brought before Pilate and Herod for the purpose of being sentenced to die as a criminal. He was beaten to such an extent that Pilate had to remind himself that He was a man. He was ridiculed, stripped and put on display as a bleeding “king” for all to see. His kingship was jeered at and sneered at as soldiers pretended to bow to Him as they tortured Him. He was paraded through the streets on the way to the hill of Calvary, to which His weak body couldn’t even carry His own cross. He had nails pounded through His hands and feet and was lifted high above the heads of every bystander so all could see His shame. The voices surrounding Him denied His holiness, His purpose and His power...even the thief dying beside Him looked on Him with disbelief and disgust. Every device and plan that man could think of to shame our heavenly King in earthly form was used against Him. And yet, He said, “But the Lord God helped me, therefore I have not been disgraced.”
Even on the cross, He stood above all the shame and disgrace that man could muster.
I thought about Christ’s words and His lack of words. Like a lamb he was led to the slaughter, as a sheep before its shearer is silent, He opened not His mouth (Acts 8:32–35). I thought of where I would feel the most pain throughout this ordeal...would the pinnacle of pain that caused me to cry out have been when tortured with Pilate? Would it have been when the first nail pierced my flesh? Would have been when the force of the cross fell into the hole leaving me upright? I can’t imagine. And yet, I considered Christ and what caused Him to cry out. His words were, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani? (My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?)” In all of the physical, mental and emotional pain poured on Him, the real pain as He forged through hell to heaven was the separation from His Father as He became sin and a curse, absorbing the judgment and wrath that was rightfully ours.
He came to die, His purpose was to lay His life down for us. The passage in Isaiah says that the Lord helped Him fulfill His will for Him. In John 10:17–18, Jesus declared that no one could take His life from Him, only He could lay it down and only He could take it up again. He willingly walked with the soldiers out of the Garden of Gethsemane, He let them put Him in chains. He stood before the high priest through a fake trial because He chose to. He allowed Pilate’s men to beat him and took the blows as His blood poured out onto the ground because He had a greater purpose to His life. He climbed up onto the cross to die for the sins of the world because He loved the world and wished to reconcile it to Himself. He died on the cross because He wanted to give us life.
I think of Hebrews 12:2–3, where it says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Jesus had perfect freedom from man, and therefore, complete freedom to live for the Lord.
The passage from 2 Corinthians (above), paints a lovely picture of Paul’s freedom in Christ. Walking in the fruits of the Spirit, in the Lord’s leading, he lived free from the world around him. He walked in truth and peace with boldness, knowing he possessed eternal reward.
Lord, may I walk before You in the freedom You have provided through Christ. May my life be free from the opinions of man, and may I walk in Your ways with boldness. May my eyes be fixed on the joy set before me, and may I never forget that You are that joy and the purpose for which I live. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray, Amen.
Click here to read last Lenten season's thoughts on Christ's Kingship
As I’ve been reading the Word lately, the passages that have struck me with great intensity have displayed immense freedom from man. As a general rule, I believe we have a human desire to please, to be affirmed and to be approved of. But as I read these passages, I see that this desire has most often been misplaced. We desire to please each other, to be affirmed and approved of by our fellow man, when this desire should instead first fall on the Lord.
Oh, to please the Lord! To be affirmed and approved of by Him!
This difference is immense and the results are infinite. When we are bound to the opinions of man, we are susceptible to the whims of sinful minds and hearts. We are fallen men and women with fallible morals and character. But on the flip side, when this human desire is rightly placed on honoring our Creator, we find a beautiful freedom. Freedom from man means freedom to live for God.
This freedom was painted to perfection in the man of Christ. Consider this passage from Isaiah, where there is a description of Christ on the night He was betrayed and wrongfully condemned to death. Isaiah 50:6–7: “I gave my back to those who strike, and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard; I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting. But the Lord God helped me, therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.” This passage literally made me crumple as through my mind flashed passages and pictures of what Christ went through. He was taken in the night by an army of soldiers, put in chains and dragged before a panel of judges for a facade of a trial in which He was falsely accused, mocked, spit upon, beaten, taunted and tormented. He was brought before Pilate and Herod for the purpose of being sentenced to die as a criminal. He was beaten to such an extent that Pilate had to remind himself that He was a man. He was ridiculed, stripped and put on display as a bleeding “king” for all to see. His kingship was jeered at and sneered at as soldiers pretended to bow to Him as they tortured Him. He was paraded through the streets on the way to the hill of Calvary, to which His weak body couldn’t even carry His own cross. He had nails pounded through His hands and feet and was lifted high above the heads of every bystander so all could see His shame. The voices surrounding Him denied His holiness, His purpose and His power...even the thief dying beside Him looked on Him with disbelief and disgust. Every device and plan that man could think of to shame our heavenly King in earthly form was used against Him. And yet, He said, “But the Lord God helped me, therefore I have not been disgraced.”
Even on the cross, He stood above all the shame and disgrace that man could muster.
I thought about Christ’s words and His lack of words. Like a lamb he was led to the slaughter, as a sheep before its shearer is silent, He opened not His mouth (Acts 8:32–35). I thought of where I would feel the most pain throughout this ordeal...would the pinnacle of pain that caused me to cry out have been when tortured with Pilate? Would it have been when the first nail pierced my flesh? Would have been when the force of the cross fell into the hole leaving me upright? I can’t imagine. And yet, I considered Christ and what caused Him to cry out. His words were, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani? (My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?)” In all of the physical, mental and emotional pain poured on Him, the real pain as He forged through hell to heaven was the separation from His Father as He became sin and a curse, absorbing the judgment and wrath that was rightfully ours.
He came to die, His purpose was to lay His life down for us. The passage in Isaiah says that the Lord helped Him fulfill His will for Him. In John 10:17–18, Jesus declared that no one could take His life from Him, only He could lay it down and only He could take it up again. He willingly walked with the soldiers out of the Garden of Gethsemane, He let them put Him in chains. He stood before the high priest through a fake trial because He chose to. He allowed Pilate’s men to beat him and took the blows as His blood poured out onto the ground because He had a greater purpose to His life. He climbed up onto the cross to die for the sins of the world because He loved the world and wished to reconcile it to Himself. He died on the cross because He wanted to give us life.
I think of Hebrews 12:2–3, where it says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Jesus had perfect freedom from man, and therefore, complete freedom to live for the Lord.
The passage from 2 Corinthians (above), paints a lovely picture of Paul’s freedom in Christ. Walking in the fruits of the Spirit, in the Lord’s leading, he lived free from the world around him. He walked in truth and peace with boldness, knowing he possessed eternal reward.
Lord, may I walk before You in the freedom You have provided through Christ. May my life be free from the opinions of man, and may I walk in Your ways with boldness. May my eyes be fixed on the joy set before me, and may I never forget that You are that joy and the purpose for which I live. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray, Amen.
Click here to read last Lenten season's thoughts on Christ's Kingship
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
ash wednesday contemplations
making You Lord
©2-17-10 hannah mclean
it is a fearful thing
to look inside of me
darkness as of soot
i’m sure to find
i would surely rather
close my eyes then
see these ashes
so much easier to hide
from what’s inside
to plead blind
to what i’d find
donning humility with fear
i ask
shed light
give sight
i’ve transgressions in measure
to multitudes of Your mercies
thorough washing i ask for
purge that i may be free
marveling i wonder
how can You stand
to look
when even i am prone to
turn my face
You have told me
to tear down my idols
for You
i have not complied
forgive me for the altars i have
left standing
pretending to be helpless
when You have given what is needed
to destroy with my own hand
when i have obeyed
You will know i’ve made You Lord
may my knees bow only
to You
Father,
against You only
have i sinned
and so before You alone
i come in ashes
to be washed white as snow
soot to wool
Christ in full
fallen man in the devil’s hold
a desperate soul
nothing to satan do You owe
purchased pardon from the Father
flows through Your wounds
i was
but You were greater
i am
and You are greater
i will be
for You will be greater still
mercy reigns, my King
love adorns, my God
grace beautifies, my Lord
beauty for ashes
i am Yours
©2-17-10 hannah mclean
it is a fearful thing
to look inside of me
darkness as of soot
i’m sure to find
i would surely rather
close my eyes then
see these ashes
so much easier to hide
from what’s inside
to plead blind
to what i’d find
donning humility with fear
i ask
shed light
give sight
i’ve transgressions in measure
to multitudes of Your mercies
thorough washing i ask for
purge that i may be free
marveling i wonder
how can You stand
to look
when even i am prone to
turn my face
You have told me
to tear down my idols
for You
i have not complied
forgive me for the altars i have
left standing
pretending to be helpless
when You have given what is needed
to destroy with my own hand
when i have obeyed
You will know i’ve made You Lord
may my knees bow only
to You
Father,
against You only
have i sinned
and so before You alone
i come in ashes
to be washed white as snow
soot to wool
Christ in full
fallen man in the devil’s hold
a desperate soul
nothing to satan do You owe
purchased pardon from the Father
flows through Your wounds
i was
but You were greater
i am
and You are greater
i will be
for You will be greater still
mercy reigns, my King
love adorns, my God
grace beautifies, my Lord
beauty for ashes
i am Yours
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
the Spirit intercedes
Psalm 81:10 I am the Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Psalm 84 How lovely is Your tabernacle, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord; My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young—Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts, My King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they will still be praising You. Selah. Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a spring; the rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion. O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer; Give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah. O God, behold our shield, and look upon the face of Your anointed. For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, Blessed is the man who trusts in You!
irresistible prayer
©2-16-10 hannah mclean
irresistibly pulled to pray
i kneel before You
head bowed
why have You brought me here?
what words do You wish to hear
from my lips?
in my prostrate place
i find my hands lay open and
tears roll down my forehead
as with a silent tongue
my heart overflows with prayer
deep wrenching of my inner being
the Spirit intercedes for me
and i am filled
Your book is before me
inside, a promise
“open wide your mouth and
I will fill it”
and as i read
Your words unfold to reveal
beautiful depth and
satisfying life
i stand beside my Shield
and invite You in
unafraid to show You my desperate need
knowing i am Yours
set apart with a Seal
grateful to be brought before You
i silently worship
Psalm 84 How lovely is Your tabernacle, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord; My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young—Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts, My King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they will still be praising You. Selah. Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a spring; the rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion. O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer; Give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah. O God, behold our shield, and look upon the face of Your anointed. For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, Blessed is the man who trusts in You!
irresistible prayer
©2-16-10 hannah mclean
irresistibly pulled to pray
i kneel before You
head bowed
why have You brought me here?
what words do You wish to hear
from my lips?
in my prostrate place
i find my hands lay open and
tears roll down my forehead
as with a silent tongue
my heart overflows with prayer
deep wrenching of my inner being
the Spirit intercedes for me
and i am filled
Your book is before me
inside, a promise
“open wide your mouth and
I will fill it”
and as i read
Your words unfold to reveal
beautiful depth and
satisfying life
i stand beside my Shield
and invite You in
unafraid to show You my desperate need
knowing i am Yours
set apart with a Seal
grateful to be brought before You
i silently worship
Friday, February 12, 2010
Savior, like a shepherd lead us
John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”
Exodus 33:15 And [Moses] said to Him, “If Your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.”
not without You
©2-12-10 hannah mclean
i plead
with my Shepherd, “lead”
i have wandered
from You and squandered
what is Yours too many times
through my mind
flows words
i have heard:
“i can do nothing apart”
“do not send me without”
i cannot yet see
Your will for me
i cannot yet hear
Lord, appear
with faith i will wait
helpless in state
unwilling to stand
lest Your hand
lifts
sift
my desires till those that contaminate
dissipate
till those that magnify
me pacify
Lord, shake
me till those that take
from You fall
You deserve ALL
so i will stay
till You show the way
that will not compromise
Your prize:
glorious fame
for Your worthy name
till You open a door
i will kneel before
You and plead
with my Shepherd, “lead”
Exodus 33:15 And [Moses] said to Him, “If Your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.”
not without You
©2-12-10 hannah mclean
i plead
with my Shepherd, “lead”
i have wandered
from You and squandered
what is Yours too many times
through my mind
flows words
i have heard:
“i can do nothing apart”
“do not send me without”
i cannot yet see
Your will for me
i cannot yet hear
Lord, appear
with faith i will wait
helpless in state
unwilling to stand
lest Your hand
lifts
sift
my desires till those that contaminate
dissipate
till those that magnify
me pacify
Lord, shake
me till those that take
from You fall
You deserve ALL
so i will stay
till You show the way
that will not compromise
Your prize:
glorious fame
for Your worthy name
till You open a door
i will kneel before
You and plead
with my Shepherd, “lead”
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