He's faithful to redeem.

 Almighty Weaver
©7-4-2025 hannah mclean

Almighty Weaver
i rest in Your hands
You who made mountains
You who formed man
Almighty Weaver
the Maker of parts
only Your love can 
join body and heart

Your blood binds what’s broken
and makes new what’s old
Your love falls on ashes
and brings forth the gold
Your truth walks through prisons
and unlocks the doors
Your hands lift the least of these
making them more

Almighty Weaver
redemption’s Your way
You bring dead to life 
and You turn night to day
You see beyond moment
call forth what will be
in the land of the living
Your goodness i’ll see

His holy ways

“He also made the lampstand of pure gold. He made the lampstand of hammered work. Its base, its stem, its cups, its calyxes, and its flowers were of one piece with it.” Exodus 37:17

Your lampstand

©4-2-2025 hannah mclean

 

let me be Your lampstand
hammered, yes
for that is Your holy way
but sanctified in the working
drawing out beauty
in Your careful markings
for function and for delight

but also pure gold and
one piece
unbroken by the force of the blows required
for base and stem and cups
for filling and for fire

let me be Your lampstand
fitted for light
a vessel for worship
for drawing and
for burning

behold, Father,
my stems stretch forth for You
hard fought for oil fills my cups
may Your holy fire burn upon me
drawing other to Your light
and to Your life

may my eyes see the care
of Your shaping

may my heart find joy
in the emergence of details
drawn forth in my forming

may i not overlook the wonder
of the purifying

may worship pour forth to You
as the light of Your Spirit’s presence
shines in and through me

let me be Your lampstand
for Your glory

Even there

Even There
@1-4-2025 Hannah McLean

If the wings of the morning bid me ride
If the waves pull me out to sea
If the night folds on me like covering
If the light seems as darkness to me

Even there

Even there,
You're the Lord who searched me
Who has known me before I met time
Even there,
You're the Lord who has found me
Who has hemmed in before and behind
Even there,
Your sure hand is on me
Your thoughts of me more than the sand
Even there,
You're the Lord who has formed me
Who causes my frail frame to stand

Father, even there You will lead me
May the hold of Your hand be my peace
For when rising and falling and darkness and flight end,
You will never cease

 

---

 

Psalm 139:7–10 "Where shall I go from Your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me."

A prayer of surrender

Some seasons for me are messier than others; lately I've been bringing all the pieces of my heart in all their complexity and just pouring them onto the altar...and this has been my accompanying prayer of surrender: "Burn up what You will, Lord. Purify whatever remains after Your holy fire falls. And plant whatever You wish to grow in me."

And so in this season where I cannot sort, I can still be sanctified because the Lord always receives the sacrifices we make in surrender, even if they aren't pretty. 

 

Psalm 5:3 TPT "At each and every sunrise You will hear my voice as I prepare my sacrifice of prayer to You. Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on the altar and wait for Your fire to fall upon my heart."

Books

I published some books on Amazon if you are interested:

"Righteous men"

How many of us settle for the righteous life of Lot, when the Lord has called us to the righteous life of Noah?

This might not be a fun word to read, but my heart is unsettled and these are the words I have to bring you. My prayer is that you would hear me out and deeply consider them, I will include a prayer at the end as these thoughts keep pushing me to pray.

2 Peter 2:7–8 “And if He rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked (for as that righteous man lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their lawless deeds that he saw and heard)”

Genesis 6:9b “Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation. Noah walked with God.”

To begin, I wanted to be clear that there is only one way to be declared righteous before the Lord, and that is through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus for our sins; if we accept His work of salvation on our behalf, He takes our wickedness and gives us His righteousness. That’s it. Our own efforts of external exertion can only produce self-righteousness, which has no ability to produce eternal life. We need Jesus to be declared righteous before God.

That being said, the Bible tells us that both Lot and Noah were “righteous men.” There are so many parallels between their lives, and yet, several stark differences.

Lot was Abraham’s nephew, you can read his story in Genesis 11–19. He was drawn to the city of Sodom, where he took up residence and partook of its prosperity. He lived his life in the middle of the wickedness that took place there, and the ways of the city took root in his family as it mixed in with his daily living. And when the Lord finally had to call Sodom to account for its evil deeds (not even 10 righteous people lived there), He sent angels to help Lot escape from his home…but the tangling of his life with the lives of those in Sodom had consequences, he lost his wife to her longing and his daughters had gained no knowledge to discern between right and wrong.

Noah was the son of Lamech, one of only eight to have witnessed both the pre- and post-flood world. You can read his story in Genesis 5–9. The world he was born into was overrun by evil, it says in Genesis 6:5 that “the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” The wickedness of humanity that had taken such root that their lives produced only evil fruit all the time. “But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.” He was a preacher of righteousness, living according to God’s plumb line of right and wrong, walking with God and not with man. And like in the story of Lot, humanity mounted the threshold to the door of just judgment, and God invited righteous Noah to escape. “Make for yourself an ark,” He said to him, and Noah obeyed everything God said. He did the hard labor of nearly 100 years of building in the face of ridicule and scorn, surrounded by the evils of unrighteous living, but set apart for the Lord. And the Lord preserved the people that He had made and marked with His own image through one man and his family. And under the rainbow of covenant, the eight of them rebuilt and carried on the good work God had created humanity for in the beginning.

When you read the stories, did you notice the similarities? God spared these righteous men from being destroyed by His judgment. Both of these men lived surrounded by wickedness, a lone light in a dark environment. Both of these men got to take their family with them.

But there are many differences too. Lot couldn’t leave without being pulled out…It says in Genesis 19:16 “But he lingered. So the men seized him and his wife and his two daughters by the hand, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.” Lot lingered and he was spared by the mercy of God. But Noah, he was spared by his obedience to the invitation of God to receive mercy. God didn’t have to pluck Noah out, Noah rode above the waters of judgement by faith and the faithful labor of his hands in response to God’s commands and invitation.

The environments of both of these men was dark, but Noah had walked with God and lived according to God’s righteous ways while Lot had walked with the men of Sodom and struggled to keep and desire God’s ways because he had allowed the seeds of wickedness to grow in his internal garden.

I write this to encourage you to—as I have and am doing with myself—examine your heart and your ways before the Lord. God will save anyone who trusts in Jesus for salvation, but there is the reality of 1 Corinthians 3:10–15, where we are told that the sum of what we build upon the foundation of Jesus will be revealed by fire. Are you building well? Are you forming the structure of your life by the instruction and with the materials commanded by God (as Noah did, building the Ark according to the measurements and directions he was given)? Or are you setting up residence in structures made by human design and struggling as you waver between King and country?

Our God is a jealous God, He knows that our idolatry brings about the destruction of our souls, and in love He continually calls to us to walk whole-heartedly with Him. I’ve been studying the relationship between God and Israel, and I am struck again and again by the weight and detriment of mixing our lives with the culture in which we abide instead of setting ourselves apart for the God in whom we are invited to abide. Throughout the books of the minor prophets, we see a glimpse at God’s view of the mixed man who comes to worship: He’s like, “I reject your sacrifices, your words are empty and yours songs are appalling to Me. If you want Me to receive your ministry to Me, than seek Me on a heart level, and let Me align your life to My heart and My ways.”

God is merciful, and He WILL save the righteous man…but have we settled for the righteous life of Lot, or will we aim to be Noahs in our generation? Because the truth is, we are living closer to the Revelation than to Eden, and in those last chapters of the good Book we find this call, “Come out of her, My people, lest you take part in her sins…”

—————

Father, purge me with hyssop and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. [Psalm 51:7] Teach me Your way, Lord, that I may walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name. [Psalm 86:11] You are the only one righteous, Lord, I bend the knee to Your plumb line of good and evil. You have created me for Your purposes, conform my life to whatever You wish for it be; may I live whole-heartedly in pursuit of You and Your kingdom. Your will be done, Father; [Matthew 6:10] in my mind, my heart, my life and my walk. May I be fully surrendered to You; rooted in the truth of Your word and governed by Your Spirit. You are holy, holy, holy; purify my worship to reflect that You alone hold my heart. Keep me, Father, wrap me up in Your faithful arms and guard me from offending You. May my life bring You glory, honor and praise. In Jesus name, Amen.

how long?

 the fool who believed
©12-12-22 hannah mclean

i whimper beneath
this heap of broken things
the pieces of the crushed
the defeated
the battles lost
bury my body

strength long proven
too little
fight to climb out
too fleeting

how long?

why do i hear
the trumpet of victory
sound from
my enemy’s camp
when i lean on
the Greater Power?

the shame You promised
to bear away
has stacked itself
upon my shoulders

sin broke
and scorn remains

how long?

the enemy mocks
the seeming futility
of my faith
“where is your God?”

but i know who You are
i would rather be
the fool who believed
than the fool who scoffed

 

------

 

"Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him," lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken." Psalm 13:3–4

The days of waiting

Holy Week ponderings:

It’s a day of waiting.
It seems to be intentionally placed;
between the horrors of Friday and the wonders of Sunday.
A day to grieve and to remember and to ponder.
It’s like the Lord sat His followers down lest they fight or flee;
Peter gave us a glimpse onto both of these paths
with the swinging sword
and the rooster’s crow.
A sabbath.
Rest up, He seemed to insist,
the real work is coming.

It’s a day of waiting.
My mind keeps wandering to Mary Magdalene.
I sit beside her with her wringing, wondering hands;
hands that had been redeemed for anointing and for honoring.
Mary wanted to be with her Lord;
in His life she had been by His side,
close enough to wipe His feet with her tears
and close enough to hear the whisper of His thirst.
In His death she resisted still the separation.
But the sabbath forced her feet to stay
when apart from Him is not where she longed
to linger.

It’s a day of waiting.
They had a promise, you know.
He told them what would be:
Death by crucifixion
and three days later
risen to new life.
Peter wouldn’t accepted it;
he rebuked the truth
and waged war on hands that bound and led away his Lord
to fulfill His purpose.
But sometimes it’s the times of waiting after the horrors of Friday
that dig out of us the faith
to hope in the promise of Sunday.

These intentionally placed days of waiting…
may we not waste them.

New Year comforts

The turn of this year has been a hard one. The most fitting word I have been able to find to describe how I have felt is DEJECTED. It means “thrown down.” But the Father is so faithful to minister to me, and from the sorrow of evening one, to the morning of day two, He has ministered so deeply to my heart. Here is the comfort He has given me as I begin this new year, perhaps it will lift you up as well.

------
sometimes all we can see
is the cross
where all is crushed
    and every way our eyes turn
    we find debilitating defeat
where satan seems victorious in
    his pursuit to destroy
and we forget
what lies beyond
the mangled wreckage
of darkness

we forget
    it is the Sovereign that
    speaks the final word
we forget
    that past the blood soaked beams
    lies the empty tomb
the resurrection
and the results of the Redeemer’s
finished work

sometimes all we can see
is the cross
and the pain of it
but we must purpose to remember
that the cross is but a doorway
    to hope fulfilled

so if you are here
looking upon the ashes
of fires you could not stop
from raging
remember
that just as the ugliness of the cross
    is but a bridge to glory
that these ashes are but the makings
    of a crown of beauty
when we rest upon
the love of the Almighty

A meditation on Psalm 84:5–8

Psalm 84:5–8
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in You,
    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
6 As they go through the Valley of Baca
    they make it a place of springs; 

    the early rain also covers it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength; 

    each one appears before God in Zion.
8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer; 

    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah

Verse 5 begins with the declaration that the one who has no strength within themselves, and must draw fully from the Lord, is blessed. Being in a position where we feel the full force of our weakness is not pleasant, in fact, it is downright painful, but here the Lord tells us that this place of desperate want is a place of blessing. And as the psalmist continues, we will begin to see some of the reasons why.

This verse completes this declaration by adding that the means of blessing is not just the weak one finding their strength in the Lord, it is also that the highways of their hearts lead them to Him. A highway is road that is well-traveled; much work has gone into laying its foundation, maintaining and building up the place where feet continually tread. And where do these highways forged upon the heart lead? To Zion; the dwelling place of God. Namely, whether you are in the Valley or in the heights, build the highways in your heart to lead you to the Lord—make your course to His arms and His keeping so continual that it becomes second nature; it makes me think of Nathan’s Grandma Lillian who sat at the piano in her advanced state of dementia and played hymns…she may not have remembered our names, but she remembered His.

Verse 6 speaks to the valleys of life that we would not choose, the places of such pain, grief and despair that they are referred to here as “the Valley of weeping.” Be it loss or lack, whatever has dragged us down to this place of want and sorrow, we find what comes to the saint who has cast themselves upon the strength of the Lord and whose heart runs with weariness and desperation to Him; “springs.” A spring is a place where water moving underground finds an opening to the land surface and emerges. A spring draws water from an aquifer, which, get this, is a water-bearing rock. So essentially, the psalmist is saying that as we go through the Valley of weeping, we learn to draw living water from the Rock. And in case we languish along the way, there has been an “early rain,” where God has gone before us and provided pools of water from which to drink. I wish I could lay out how clearly this moves my heart—from my own experience, oftentimes those pools are found in the people who stand beside us in our pain because they’ve been there before. He knows the paths that we must tread; every jagged edge of every rock at the bottom of every valley has pressed first into His flesh before it has reached ours. He is sufficient to bear us up.

And can I point out, it says, “as they go THROUGH the Valley…” There is time to laugh and a time to weep, and both are seasons filled with purpose. But we need not remain in the Valley forever.

Verse 7 tells us that even as we draw our strength from the Lord; the revelation of new and endless weakness only leads us into new and endless aspects of coming to KNOW God’s strength. When we lean fully upon Him, His arms draw us nearer and nearer His kind and merciful face.

And finally, to end this wonderful meditation, we must look at verse 8. Here the Psalmist appeals to the Lord by two of His many names: Lord of Hosts and God of Jacob. I have found that the uses of God’s name in the Bible are so intentional that to investigate why they are placed where they are leads to opening up layers of richness to both the passages I am considering as well as aspects of who God is. I found both of these names to be interesting choices, but the reasons I found for their placement are full of encouragement and beauty.

Lord of Hosts. This means Lord of armies…angel armies…myriads and myriads of angelic beings are at the service of the Lord. I often use this name when I pray for things surrounding great battles; and while that could absolutely be appropriate in this context (Valleys of Weeping can bring about many battles of the heart, mind and emotions), I found another consideration that blessed my heart. One of the reasons God made angels is to minister to humans (Psalm 91:11–12, Matthew 4:11, Hebrew 1:7, etc); here the Psalmist, staggering his way through a seasons of great darkness—emptied of self—cries out to God for what he needs—many, many angels to tend to his many, many wounds.

God of Jacob. This one I just can’t get over. Let me tell you about Jacob. Jacob means “deceiver, cheater;” from the womb he bore a name that spoke into his life choices, and there was great cost to the choices he made. He cheated his brother Esau out of his birthright, and tricked his father into giving him the blessing not intended for him. And as a direct result, he had to flee his home and never saw either of his parents again. He continued his journey by working for 20 years for a man whose character flaws matched his own and then some. But instead of growing in bitterness and zeal for self, Jacob grew in humility. And when he was finally heading home, he heard word that his brother Esau, whose hatred and pursuit of revenge had caused him to flee, was coming to meet him with what was essentially a small army. And Jacob was undone; he took all his fear and despair and humble acknowledgement of guilt. His tired legs from running, and he grabbed hold of God with both hands and wrestled with Him—his determination that he would not rise without the blessing of the Lord left him not just with a limp, but with a new name and a family that carried the promise of the Messiah. Jacob reminds me that the moments of wrestling with God in the valley of weeping are the moments that change the way we walk; they bring about conviction and the certainty of proven faith if we will but drink from the springs of living water that are called forth from the Rock of Ages when the force of our fall breaks the hard places within us. Let us call out to the God of Jacob; the God who has seen our choices that didn’t pan out, our sin that caused great loss, our compilation of offenses done against us, our emotional turmoil that causes us to blunder and falter amid the failure and despair of life….this God of Jacob who has seen and even still will go before, stand beside, and come behind us to redeem to the uttermost any and every broken life with compassion and gentleness and the authority of perfect love.

A Margin Meditation on Psalm 106

[Margin Meditations are things I wrote in the margins of my bible as I journeyed through it from cover-to-cover intentioning to glean something from every page.]

 "Intercession of a faithful few can turn away the wrath of God for the faithless many."

Followers of Jesus, do you believe this is true? There are examples of it ALL over the Bible.

Prayer is not necessarily intercession. It is not difficult to pray for someone or something; prayer is as simple as communing with God.

Intercession is a different sort of thing. We see in Psalm 106 that Moses “stood in the breach before [God] to turn away His wrath from destroying [Israel]” A breach is defined as “a break in a wall made by battering.” To stand in the breach would be to face great danger that the wall protected from, and it would require great courage.

We also see in verse 30 that Phinehas “stood up and intervened” to end a plague that Israel was experiencing because of their idolatry. To intervene means “to come between so as to prevent or alter a result or course of events.” Phinehas placed himself between righteous, angry God and his dying people and changed the course of the plague.

Who were these men to stand between God and the people who had continually and repetitively sinned and rebelled against Him? I will tell you my thoughts…They were men who knew the character and nature of God, who believed that His default is love, not anger. God’s wrath is a responsive attribute, it is provoked and poured out in precise measure to the sin and evil that caused it to arise. But does He take pleasure in administering it? No! However, He does take great pleasure in our turning back to Him. And intercession can stop His wrath as it appeals to the great mercy of His loving nature.

As you watch the year unfold, I want you to remember this meditation. Instead of wrath this year—because of intercession—we get severe mercy; what is going to happen is for the purpose of turning hearts back to the Lord.

And here is one other little gem I found in Revelation relating to this meditation: Unlike His love, grace, power or so many of His other attributes, the Lord’s wrath will end (Rev 15:1), because one day sin will end.

But until that day, may our lives reflect that we truly believe that “the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (James 5:16b)

The Chasm and the Blood of Peace

I was in prayer the other night for our country, and my heart was drawn to the painful present overview of the response to the pandemic. As I prayed, I watched the land be split in two and the space grow between the 2 pieces of ground until a vast, bottomless chasm was left. In prayer, I saw on one side of the expanse the “haves”…the rich, the powerful, adults. And on the other, the “have nots”…the poor, the weak, children. As I watched the divide grow between the people, I looked at what was tearing them apart and separating them in such a grotesque way. Huge principalities of “fear,” “greed,” “pride” and “hatred” propelled the sides outward, and a call echoed throughout the divide, “Every man for himself!”

And as I looked upon the devastation of the “have nots” with even less, and the “haves” who had gathered more, I sat and wept before the Lord.

Eventually, I quietly, humbly asked Him, “What can heal such a divide?”

And He said, “The blood is the bridge.”
And He brought to mind this verse:

Colossians 1:19-20 (21-23)
“For in [Christ] all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross.”

There are ones who can bridge the divide…who can walk across the chasm as if on solid ground. They are the ones redeemed by the blood of Jesus.

Why the redeemed?
Two reasons:
1) They are at peace with the LORD.

I told Nathan the other day that the least appreciated piece of the armor of God we have received in Ephesians 6 are the shoes of readiness. They way I understand these shoes is different than I’ve ever heard anyone explain them, so I will try to articulate how I see them. Ephesians 6:15 says, “and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.” The readiness given by the gospel of peace: What is this peace the gospel has given us? It has justified us before our righteous Judge; it has given us peace with the Father, through the work of Jesus so we can enter into the very presence of God, just as Adam and Eve did before the fall in the Garden of Eden. Because of the blood of Jesus, we are at peace with our Maker. Do you know how powerful a position that is? I hope you do. It’s like the apostle Paul is wrestling with in Philippians 1 where he’s setting life and death before him and stating simply, hey, both have their benefits for me, where God takes me doesn’t matter because for me, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” When we are at peace the the Lord, the demands of life, the opinions of people, and the dividing factors of fear, greed, pride and hatred lose their power over us. By the grace of God, we redeemed sinners carry with us the call to die to self and live out the love of Jesus in the world around us…come what may. Romans 16:20 says, “The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.” OUR feet.

Which leads us nicely into the second reason:

2) The redeemed carry with them the power of the blood to make whole.

Remember in Luke 4 when Jesus stood in the synagogue and read from the scroll of Isaiah (chapter 61), He read verses 1-2a and stopped abruptly with the declaration that Him standing there that very moment was a fulfillment of Isaiah’s prophecy.

It’s one of everyone’s favorite verses to quote, but they stop too soon. So Isaiah 61:1-4 says:
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
    because the Lord has anointed Me
to bring good news to the poor;
    He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
    and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, 

This is where Jesus stopped…declaring this portion was fulfilled in Him.

    and the day of vengeance of our God;
    to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
    to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
    the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
    the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.

If you have been redeemed and raised up by the finished work of Jesus—brought from death to life—He has planted you as an oak of righteousness for His glory….and He has done it with PURPOSE!

We find that purpose in verse 4:

They shall build up the ancient ruins;
    they shall raise up the former devastations;
they shall repair the ruined cities,
    the devastations of many generations.

At this moment, we stand in verse 4. Right now, through the Church AT THIS TIME, this verse is to be fulfilled.

We are to BUILD and RAISE UP and REPAIR. Looking out over this chasm, it is not the result of just the Pandemic…it is the result of ancient ruins and generations of devastation. We look upon the culmination of years of ruin and devastation; wickedness has taken it’s filthy hands and ripped apart the fabric of society and civility and dignity, it has celebrated the violence and violation of humanity because we are marked by the image of God, whom it detests.

The redeemed must rebuild upon the divide, because we carry the healing properties of the blood of Christ upon the white robes that cover our sin scarred bodies. Every place our feet tread should leave the mark of hope…the promise of possibility because we are the ones who KNOW the power of the blood…we’ve received the good news, our broken hearts have been bound up, we’ve been freed from the captivity of our side and released from our prison chains, we’ve been comforted, we’ve seen the Lord bring beauty from ashes, and praise from our fainting spirits…and we’ve known the utter glory and wonder of being made righteous by God Himself poured out for us.

And so, He says, Build up…raise up…repair. Because contrary to the call echoing across this charm of “every man for himself,” we do not seek self, we seek the eternal good of those around us, no matter which side of the divide they stand upon. We don’t have to bow to fear because He is with us; we don’t have to be consumed by greed when the One who provides for us has called us to pour ourselves out; we can humbly bear up under the disapproval of others because we’re at peace with the One who sees us clearly; we don’t have permission to hate because we are called to love with the greater love of Jesus that we have mercifully received.

The blood is the bridge. And if you are covered in the blood, you carry the materials for the bridge. So RISE UP, Church! Rise up and stand in the power of the God of Peace who will crush Satan under your feet.

The time for mercy is ending.

I want you to know that I am not a woman of politics, I am a woman of faith. So set aside your political lens before you read this, because I don’t care where you stand on the political spectrum. From my point of view, the battle belongs to the Lord: It is God against sin—not people against people—and I care about your soul’s wellbeing.

I’m going to be very frank right now; more direct than perhaps I have ever been on here. We’re at a crux as a country. When I sit down to pray, I find that God has shut up my instinctual prayer for mercy; that in the face of the atrocity of abortion, I am no longer allowed to cry out for mercy for our country. “It is the wrong prayer,” He tells me. Instead, I am lifting my voice to those around me with this plea, “Turn and repent!”

Let me lay out reality for you. In increasing measure over the last few years, we’ve been shown the blunt truth about abortion in very wide-reaching visuals and testimonies: Physicians have stood up and explained the heart-breaking process of removing living children from the womb piece by piece; Planned Parenthood executives have talked heartlessly about harvesting and selling the body parts of aborted children; former abortion workers and recipients of abortion have described the reality of what abortion is and its effects; statistics have shown that less than 2% of abortions are done because of rape/incest and less than 15% because of medical (physical & emotional combined) reasons; science has proven fetus’ ability to feel pain, made strives in helping them survive earlier and earlier outside the womb, proven the reality of what we all know…that a child in the womb is a living, individual human being. And yet, even in the face of that, in the last 2 annual reports from PP— the leading abortion provider in the US—they stated that 600,000+ new donors and over 250,000 volunteers stepped into their direct work since 2016. They showed that abortions increased and actual healthcare services decreased, government funding increased by $20 million, private contributions increased by $100 million and their total net assets increased from $1.6 billion to $1.9 billion. Legislation has arisen in state after state increasingly removing the personhood of unborn children, cheering resounds and lights shine as murder is legalized to the moment before birth, and the call has been lifted to accept infanticide (killing living, breathing infants outside the womb)—just yesterday senate democrats took a stand for letting babies born alive after failed abortions die on the table. Basically, as the blinders have been pulled off to reveal what is underneath the word “abortion” that we flippantly toss around, our society has called for more blood.

I’ve been reading through the bible this year, and I keep encountering verses about how innocent blood that is shed in a land pollutes and defiles the physical land on which it is shed and there is a point in which that blood will be too much and the land will “vomit you out” as God finally punishes utter wickedness.

Society, you have called for and celebrated death of innocent children. You look across the ocean at tribes participating in child sacrifice on physical altars to their local gods and arrogantly pat yourselves on the back for having a higher morality. But in our country, since the passing of Roe vs. Wade, we have sacrificed 60,997,447+ children on the altar of “Women’s Choice.” Whether you acknowledge or deny the LORD, He is still the one TRUE living God, and one day you WILL answer to Him, your knee WILL bow to Him and He WILL justly determine your eternal resting place. Turn and repent for the blood we have shed before the opportunity to receive mercy passes.

Isaiah 55:6–7 “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He WILL abundantly pardon.”

Statistics on why people have abortions (per state): http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/policy/abortion/abreasons.html

How a child is aborted: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53tzMV9OmvY

Upcoming movie of former PP exec’s life (rated R for violence): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9024106/

Movie of real-life abortionist Grosnell: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3722234/

Do not close your eyes any longer, don’t blindly follow narratives you want to believe because you want to be accepted by the culture around you…millions of children are killed in the name of “choice” every year. Stand for women. Stand for children. Stand for HUMANITY! Stand for life.

#abortion #prolife #istandforwomen #istandforlife #truth #turnandrepent

Complex Compassion

I’m burdened, you guys, so I am going to write about it. Compassion for the oppressed and compassion for the oppressor. I want to give you a glimpse into how I, as a follower of Jesus and the Bible, hold those two things together.

When I say that I have compassion for the oppressed and the oppressor, these are very different things and may look very different from each other when played out. I also want you to know that to feel both does not mean I am impartial, to feel both is not something that comes naturally to me, and to feel both has more to do with the Lord’s heart than with my own.

If I were to walk into a room in which sat a rapist and a rape victim, my inclination might be to do two things: Pummel the rapist and hold the victim while weeping, seeing, listening, and feeling the pain of the atrocity done to her. 

But as a believer in Jesus and a follower of the Bible (and if you claim the first, you should be doing the second), my responsibility is to take these feelings and bring them before the Lord. Because even though I have walked with Him for 14 years, it may just mean that if I were to walk into that scenario today, the only initial difference would be that I stop myself from doing the actual pummeling.

It is only when I kneel before the Lord is prayer that I find the compassion that is foreign to me. In prayer, I must lay before Him my fury over the oppressor, my sorrow over the oppressed, and my heart. I must set beside these things the truths and commands I see in scripture, and the heart of the Lord I read about there. Things like:
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Ezekiel 33:11”...As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live...”
And when all of these things are laid out before Him, I must wrestle.

Let me tell you about the pivotal moment for me surrounding this topic: Some of you may know that I have a heart for those caught in sex trafficking (broken sexuality and its effects are a whole). A number of years ago, I was praying one day about a big fight that was happening in Vegas. I was praying Psalm 72 and found there was one verse in particular that really captured me while I prayed:
Psalm 7:14 “From oppression and violence He redeems their life, and precious is their blood in His sight.” 
 
I cried out to God for the women who would be sold and used: declaring that no matter how they were viewed by any other human, in His eyes their lives were precious; that every drop of blood drawn by the violence of their oppressors was seen by Him and counted as something in His eyes. And then my prayers turned to the ones who sold and bought them; I prayed they would see the evil of their ways and turn from them; that intended violence would stop before it came to fruition; that they would know salvation....and, in my righteous indignation, that if they were not to turn from their wickedness, that He would stop the oppression from continuing by “wiping them out.” And as soon as the words came out of my mouth, the Spirit gently said to me, “But...precious in My sight is their blood.” And in that moment, I shut my mouth and I wept and I have not been the same since. Friends, when I pray for the oppressor, the intensity, purity and longing that fuel my prayers CANNOT come from me--mine are far too limited and faulty--they must come from the heart of the Lord; the heart that beats through the pages of scripture and in His Spirit that He left as a Helper to guide us into ALL Truth.

I want you to know this: You can learn many thing about the heart of God when you read His Word, but if you want to learn how to feel the heart of God, you cannot do that unless you pray. It is in prayer that your heart fellowships with His, that your heart wrestles with His, that your heart learns to feel what He feels for whomever He feels it. I do not know of ANY OTHER place where you can learn to feel the heart of God than with His Word in prayer. 

If you are a believer in Jesus, a follower of the Bible, one who wants to grow in likeness to Christ and reflect the beauty of your Savior, you must grow in truly KNOWING God’s heart. Because if you do not learn to wrestle in His presence with His Truth, you will distort Who He is and what He desires. The call on our life as His followers requires us to TANGIBLY depend upon Him to fulfill it, because left to our own volition, we will not land in a place that looks upon the wicked and declares, “Precious is their blood in His sight.”

To lack no good thing

I was talking with an older woman at family camp this past week; I asked her if there was a verse that she was leaning on through her season of suffering (her answer was Psalm 103) and I wanted to share the one that stands out to me lately.

Psalm 34:10 “The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.”

To me this profoundly comforting. So many time in my seasons of suffering, loss and affliction, I find myself grieving. I grieve losses of persons, dreams, hopes, comforts, possibilities, dignity, strength, voice, relationship, health...whatever in those moments has been removed from me. And yet, as I stand before the Lord; seeking Him, looking to Him, clinging to Him, weeping to Him...poured out and raw before Him...I am confronted with this lovely truth in Psalm 34:10 and I know: No matter what I have lost in this world, I will leave my posture of prayer lacking “no good thing.”

Young lions are strong, powerful, full of possibility and life. They face their futures on top of the food chain and victories lie before them. Physically speaking, I do not relate. But this verse says, even they fail, even they need, even they will go without.

But I, in all my clumsiness and weakness, certainly qualify for the second half of this verse.

The word “seek” here is translated from the word “Darash,” which means to go to a place, to frequent it, to tread a place with your feet making a path, to go to one in prayer, to implore the aid of, to resort to.

This describes my walk with Jesus through my suffering. I have tread a path to Him in my need; I have crawled that path, run that path, trudged that path, laid upon that path, walked that path. I have frequented it; day after day or moment after moments...whatever is required. I have cast myself upon the Lord in my seeking; acknowledging Him as my Hope and my Help.

And this is why this verse brings me such comfort. Because no matter what my situations, circumstances or sin have robbed me of, they have no power to take from me even ONE good thing. The Lord is mine; all that He has promised me will come to me. And the losses in this life, the suffering, and even the strength of the lion are under His feet.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue..."

I’ve been processing through my insecurity with the Lord; it’s been a somewhat ugly journey so far...but sanctifying as I am intentionally leaving no stone I come upon unturned.

I came to the realization yesterday that I find myself facing a deep juxtaposition in regards to my voice. In one hand I see the opportunity to bring life and in the other, the fear of bringing death. When I hold these together, I become painfully paralyzed.

If you know me well or have heard my story, you’ve possibly heard testimony of my physical voice’s disappearance and return and what God did in the space between. I am very much indebted to the Lord to even have the ability TO speak. Since that point in my life, I have often held up my voice in wonder to the Lord asking, “You gave it back to me, how do You wish to use it?”

In one hand I hold a deep desire to be heard: I long for opportunities to testify and to teach; to encourage and to exhort; to bless and to prophecy; to proclaim Truth and freedom; and to impact the world for the glory of the Lord and for His kingdom.

And in the other, I hold a great fear of my voice: I am terrified that I will unintentionally deceive someone or discourage a fainting soul; I am petrified of misrepresenting and dishonoring the name of Jesus; I am afraid that I will say something that leads someone astray or that my opinions would speak louder than the Truth; I find the idea of my voice adding to the destruction of another’s soul utterly unbearable.

Because “death and life are in the power of the tongue,” (Proverbs 18:21a) and I know what death from the tongue feels like--both to receive and to give. As I look over my past, both the desire and the fear are no surprise.

I didn’t really get a voice growing up; I’m female, in the context of the church I was raised in, that meant I was born into a position of silence. I also was a pretty strong people-pleaser, so I mostly quietly stayed within the bounds I was given. I was told what to think, what to wear, what to do and what not to do. My voice was usually downed out or cut off.

And I was told a lot of things in the name of Jesus: I was fed twisted theology under the guise of truth and beat into compliance to the rules of men with pieces of God’s word. I was manipulated with fear, and presented an image of the Lord that was so lopsided it is a wonder I ever learned to trust Him. My honest questions were met with condemnation and I was deceived by the ones who claimed all others would deceive me. And until I became a believer in Jesus, I used my tongue in the ways I had learned; controlling my environment and the people around me with my words and manipulative tactics (in case you were wondering, yes, my first journey of repentance when I became a believer was a long and painful one).

But I am not who I was, I am redeemed by the pure blood of Jesus and there are 14 years of sanctification and learning behind me. I am sitting now praying that the Lord would help me discern between healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Because the former will secure me humbly at the feet of the Lord, intentionally submitting all I say to Him, while the latter will paralyze and silence me, rendering me ineffective for the Kingdom. I must learn to speak in my new life with confidence, secure in the Lord’s hands. I must not doubt that the One who calls me to stand and speak will protect my voice and respond to the deep desire of my heart to honor Him and not myself. Because He’s a good Father and He does not send us out to succeed or fail on our own; He empowers, equips and upholds us in the work He has for us to do.

I need to trust Him, friends. I need to wrap myself in the security of my identity in Him and not waver. And sometimes that's a hard thing to do because I must look my fear directly in the eye and remain there until it flees amid the assurance and presence of His unfailing love for me. 

So that is where I find myself in this journey; bowed down at the Mercy Seat with my fear laid out before me.

to come and to worship

i just want to be with You
©10-3-16 hannah mclean

i just want to be with You
i just want to be with You
i come only to bow
and bring You worship
bring You praise
i just want to be with You
i just want to be with You
all of my days
all of my days
all of my days

Your presence brings me fullness
Your love lets me adore
Your life, it gives me wholeness
You are all my soul longs for
Your beauty fills with wonder
Your light is pure divine
Your kindness brings me to my knees
i’m Yours and You are mine

i just want to be with You
i just want to be with You
i come only to bow
and bring You worship
bring You praise
i just want to be with You
i just want to be with You
all of my days
all of my days
all of my days

adoration leads to exaltation
Your name rings out
as worthy of all praise

i just want to be with You
i just want to be with You
i come only to bow
and bring You worship
bring You praise
i just want to be with You
i just want to be with You
all of my days
all of my days
all of my days

"Pray Like Jesus"

I had the opportunity to share this in church today:

When Jared sent me a letter asking me to consider how I was furthering the kingdom of God to possibly share a testimony, my first thought was, “I’m a homemaker who doesn’t know how to do evangelism. Why did he send this to me?”

And then I considered what the letter he sent really said...(paraphrasing) “I see you have a heart for the Lord and your life reflects a desire to further the Kingdom.” And instead of dismissing the letter as a mistake, I knew that my heart is indeed for the Lord and that I truly desire and pursue the furthering of His kingdom. And while it is true that I don’t know how to “evangelize” per se, and while it is true I am a homemaker with 3 wiggly little girls whose primary call at the moment is to my home and to raise up my children in the Way they should go, it is also true that I am furthering the kingdom of God...and my main avenue is through intercession.

Today’s theme is “Pray Like Jesus.”

Luke 22:41-44 speaks of Jesus in prayer:
“And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw and knelt and prayed, saying, ‘Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours, be done.’ And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in an agony He prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling to the ground.”

At the end of every day, I tuck my girls in their beds. I ask the Lord to fill them with wisdom; I ask Him to root them deeply in the Truth; I ask Him to make them women of faith, women of prayer, women of conviction; I pray their lives would honor Him and that they would be used mightily for the furthering of His kingdom and the glory of His name. We put on the armor of God together, and I leave them with a kiss.

And then, almost every night, I go downstairs to my prayer room, and I curl up on the couch with my bible and my prayer shawl and my journal and the Lord. And I pray. And I might not be in a place where I can be out on the streets handing blankets to the homeless, or on a rocking chair in an orphanage feeding a motherless child a bottle of milk, or in government changing laws for justice, or distributing antivirals to those infected by AIDS...but on my knees, I travel the world in prayer. In prayer, I kneel outside a Buddhist temple in Myanmar and weep for the salvation of the lost who enter in; I kneel beside the bed of a sex-trafficking victim crying out for the wounds on her body and heart; I kneel in a prison beside my brother-in-the-Lord who desperately needs encouragement and sing the love of Jesus over his aching spirit; I kneel in the streets of cities overrun by the hostilities of those in opposition to the gospel and seek peace on their behalf; I kneel in auditoriums before events preparing the way for the gospel to meet the ears of those who will be in attendance; I kneel in hospital rooms with the sick and their families pursuing healing; in prayer, I kneel in the darkest places of the world and bring the Light of Jesus there. In prayer, I feel sorrow that isn’t mine, pain that isn’t mine, joy that isn’t mine, love that isn’t mine as the Father’s heart beats in my hands and flows from my lips.

When I come to the Lord in prayer; I lay down my will and pick up His...as Jesus did.

I pray with earnest and perseverance...as Jesus did.

I have learned that prayer is about relationship and I am learning to pray from a place of identity...as Jesus did.

I align with the Father’s heart...as Jesus did.

I labor for the kingdom in prayer...as Jesus did and as He does.

And I may never see the fruit of my intercession this side of eternity...but Jesus does.

The Deep Work of 2015: Part 3

I trust the Lord. I trust Him a thousand times more than I trust myself or any other human being. I trust Him with my life, with my heart, with my soul. He is utterly trustworthy. I don’t know if you know how comforting it is to have something to place your trust in that NEVER fails you; never falters, never messes up, never does wrong...NEVER. The Lord does not crumble beneath my full trust, and there is nothing else in all the world that can achieve that. 

If He tells me to do something, I do it. It doesn’t matter if I know what I’m doing, I know Him...and He DOES know. I would be perfectly content to live my entire life directed daily by the Lord. It’s safe to follow His direct guidance.

But I don’t get to live there...and that’s not a bad thing. 

After the seasons of self-confrontation and complete surrender comes seasons of newfound freedom and flourishing. I said (in part 1 of this string) that I am face-to-face with freedom that I have never known, I wanted to expand on that a little bit.

I have found that there are stages to growing in faith. After I surrender my life to him in various matters, there follows a process of what scripture would probably refer to as “crucifying the flesh.” During this stage of growing, I am directed entirely by the Lord. And then comes the next stage that always takes me awhile to realize I have entered: the Lord is silent and I have to trust that the work He did in me is real, and I have to exercise my newfound faith to move forward in my life.

This verse best describes what I mean: 

Psalm 83:11 “He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights.”

The feet of a deer are secure, allowing them to scale the sides of mountains and cliffs, effortlessly and fearlessly moving between valleys and heights. 

When I hit this stage, it’s like God whispers to me, “It’s your turn. I did a good work in you, you are not the same as you were when we started this journey. I have made your feet like the deer’s...Walk. Leap. Run. It’s your turn to make the decisions. Trust My work. I am with you.”

And at this moment, I am looking down at my new feet. I am marveling at my peace. I am delighting in my security in the Father...and I am trusting Him enough to stand and walk in the newfound freedom He has given me.

Yesterday I made a decision about my medication: I felt no fear or need for control. I felt only peace and complete trust in the Father who loves me into such beautiful freedom. And I think I can honestly say that in 15 years, I have never made a decision regarding my health from this position. 

His work is deep. His work is lasting. His work is worthy of praise. Praise Him with me, will you?

Unquenchable love

Many waters cannot quench love
neither can floods drown it.
Song of Solomon 8:7a

I have always liked this verse, I find myself writing it in wedding cards to newly weds because it declares a truth about real love that is assuring for the conflicts and life difficulties that will inevitably arise when you unite two sinners in marriage.

The other day while I was driving, I was talking to the Lord and this verse flooded my mind as I spoke my praise and gratitude to Him...it resulted in a prayer that went something like this:

Lord, I love You with this love; the love that hasn’t been quenched by many waters or drowned by many floods. There have been many waters, Lord, You have been with me in them. And there have been floods, You have given me breath when the waves closed over me. But there is STILL love in me for You that overflows, and it is more than when I entered in. And THAT is real love; it is a result of being in the presence of and on the receiving end of YOUR steadfast love and faithfulness. And what a wonder that is, Lord, that this faulty heart of mine could be rooted so deeply by being covered so thoroughly by the outpouring of Your love and affection. What a glorious God You are; faithful and true and kind and steadfast...so steadfast that I am steadfast because of You, so loving that I can love because of You, so generous that I can be generous because of You, so free that I can be free because of You. Thank You for Your unquenchable love, this moment I pour it back out on You. Rooted in Jesus I pray, Amen.