Meditations on Psalm 84: The highways to Zion

Psalm 84:5-7
“Blessed are those whose strength is in You,
in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
As they go through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs;
the early rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
each one appears before God in Zion.”

A friend said to me the other day after I had shared with her a burden on my heart, “I didn’t think anything bad ever happened to you, you’re happy all the time.” I know she was speaking in jest, as she is aware of some of the things I have walked through in the last few years, but it got me thinking. Thinking about the phrases in the bible that start with, “Blessed is the one who....”

In most of these places, the Greek word is “esher,” which means “blessedness, happiness.” Being blessed and being happy should by definition go hand in hand; the blessing of God should produce deep and abiding joy. By looking in these verses, we can find things that bring about this blessed happiness. Even within Psalm 84 we have a few examples; things such as dwelling in the house of the Lord, singing His praise, finding strength in God, trusting Him...and finally in verse 5, having within the heart “highways to Zion.”

What does this mean? I will tell you what I think of these highways that lead to Zion. I think this is in reference to the truths of scripture. My paraphrase would be something like this: “In whose heart are the Truths that point to the Lord.” Throughout the bible, we learn truth and promises that point us to the Lord; that tell us who we are in Him, that tell us how to live for Him, that reveal to us the very heart of the One True Living God. This truth within us changes us, it strengthens us, it directs us to Zion.

Look at the verses following this statement: As this blessed one goes “through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.” The Valley of Baca literally means “The Valley of Weeping”...it is a place of brokenness and despair; it is a place that wrenches sorrow from the depth of a person; it is dark, as the mountains that loom around it block out the sun. Have you been to and/or through this place? Because life has these valleys. They lie between the peaks, and we must venture through them to know the joy, the wholeness, the grace-filled growth of the other side.

But look, my friends. Look at what the blessed one whose heart points to Zion finds in the Valley of Weeping...they turn the flowing tears into springs at which to be nourished and to flourish, they find that God had gone before them and covered it with pools of water to quench their parched souls along the way (the work He’s already done in them goes with them). They find strength in this living water, and as this strength wanes from holding them up, lifting their heavy feet to move forward, dragging them across the rocky ground...it needs only to last to the next spring, where they are restored and revived by a strength that is greater still.

Yes, for the joy set before them--the Zion to which their heart longs and points--the blessed and happy pilgrim weeps their way through the valley, knowing there is glory on the other side.

So yes, I am happy. But it is not for lack of weeping. It is because my gut-wrenching sorrows always fall on the eternal joy that lives in the core of me. Over the last few painful years, I have clung to the truths I know...in the times I cannot open up the Word, it comes from within; in the moments I cannot pray, the Spirit intercedes; in the silences when I cannot sing, my redeemed soul leaps for me. God has interwoven Himself so thoroughly through my life that even in the depth of the pit, in the jagged holes at the bottom of Valley of Weeping, we cannot be separated. He is always before me; my questions lead me into His presence, my sorrow leads me into His arms, my sin leads me into His cross, and my weeping leads me into His truth.

Blessed am I and happy is my soul, redeemed by Jesus and running into Him forever.

Meditations on Psalm 84: The sparrow at the altar

For those of you who don’t know me personally, I am by nature incredibly fearful. To give you a glimpse into this, here is a story: For my birthday when I was very young (my mom said 2-years-old, although that seems incredible because I remember that day so vividly), my parents bought me a fly swatter...it stands out in my mind as the best birthday present I have ever received because of what it meant for me; it empowered me to face bugs instead of fleeing from them in a state of panic. I went carefully around the house, brave and equipped with my new weapon, ferociously pulverizing everything that even vaguely resembled a bug.

Even as an adult, I have found that I still have a natural bent toward crippling fear. But thankfully, I have learned to submit my fears as they arise to the Lord. In my mindseye there is a literal laying down of them at the foot of the cross, turning my back and walking away. Verses that speak of God conquering our fears are very real to me (such as Psalm 34:4 “I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears”).

And then I became a mother. Over the last 2 1/2 years, my life has opened up a whole new can of fears. As I observe the world around me (far and near), I feel as though my daughters have been born in the center of a den of lions--each waiting to pounce, shred and destroy. I observe statistics and patterns in culture that make my soul cringe, I hear stories of experiences that make me question all faith in humanity, I shutter my way through immorality, rebellion and deceit that make my blood curdle...and then I look into their beautiful faces. And sometimes, I weep.

I weep because I see their purity, their innocence and the carefree beauty that has been preserved thus far because they do not know what lies before or around them; I weep because I think that someone may steal it, or act against them in a way that would destroy their very core, or misuse, abuse or defile them; I weep because these fears break not only my heart but my very soul. To think of the mess they will have to navigate and the fruit of a godless society that they will have to wade through makes me want to hold them tightly in my arms and never let them go.

But life, and safety, does not work like that. I cannot protect them from all harm, I cannot live this life for them, or shield them from all darkness. I can only pray and do my best to make wise decisions for them.

This week has been particularly weighty for me surrounding the fears for their safety as I have watched the ruthlessness of sinful men poured out on one I love. As I have prayed over her, I have also found myself pleading with the Lord for my own daughters. The last few days, I have had the Spirit press on me the fact that God is- and the desire that God would be- my dwelling place. And then Psalm 84 lay open in front of me, and I found inside this lovely verse:

Psalm 84:3
“Even the sparrow finds a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
    my King and my God.”

You know, the sparrow is the most ordinary of birds. In Matthew 10:29 it says, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?” They are common and literally less than a dime a dozen. And yet in this verse it says that there is a place at the altar of the Lord not only for her home, but for her young...and there she is welcome to lay them down before the Lord of hosts. Matthew 10:31 goes on to say that I am "of more value than many sparrows" to the Lord. If the sparrow can come, surely so can I.

I also think it is lovely that this declaration of who God is is so perfectly placed here. My God is the Lord of HOSTS. The first definition that shows up in Webster’s Dictionary for “host” is “army.” My God is the Lord of ARMIES. Not only does He have a place for me to rest my home and my daughters, but He has the MIGHT to protect them. He has the POWER, the FORCE, the STRENGTH, the WEAPONS, the FIGHT to do it.

And so, I will dwell with and in my God; I will build my home at His altar and I will lay my children before Him...and no matter what I see or what fears fight against my peace, I will remind myself that my God is the Lord of Hosts. And that is enough.