for my love

deep will call
©6-27-10 hannah mclean

i know what you desire
in the heart of your heart--
to know His love
surpassing knowledge

i see His faithfulness to promise
granting your desire
but the path winds through the depths
where your deep will call to His

pained
i wrestle for you in prayer
but surrendered i have vowed
to walk through the valleys with you

"I am the rose of sharon, a lily of the valleys." Song of Solomon 2:1

the Lily in the valley
©6-26-10 hannah mclean

voices cry to You from the valleys
where the shadows of the mountains
have eclipsed Your light
echos return

wandering though the deeps, seeking
knowing You will not forget Your own
revelation of Your presence comes
from the lily

You are the Lily in the valleys
opening Your petals to declare
Your longing to bless us
displaying Your beauty to radiate
Your desire to delight us
blossoming in the depths to remind of
Your offer of eternal hope

once found, feet forget to move
planted beside Your blooming brilliance
basking in the pleasure of
beholding You

but You are not content to leave us
in the valleys when the heights call for
our crippled souls by name
echos return

You are the Lily in the valleys
a hint of what is
a whisper of the fullness of the mountains

may the discovery of You in the Lily
stir in us a longing for You
nurture in us a desire You
spur us on to offer all to You

but may we not forgo the heavenly heights
for the valleys
where the Lily blooms but for today

Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?

I had sort of a rough day. I've had a lot of stomach pain for the last 3 days, and today, as I was driving home from dropping off friends at the airport (I had been unable to eat lunch with them because I couldn't take anything in), I found myself praying and heard myself asking God, "Why won't You help me? Why won't You help me?" Almost like I was asking Him, "Don't You care?" Those words were heavy words. The hung in my mind as I considered what they revealed about me:

my help
©6-1-10 hannah mclean

i listen to the words
that ring from my lips
in desperation
the sound of pleading pain
reverberating like a string
strummed too hard
“why won’t You help me?
why won’t You help me?”

they roll through my mind
and fall
with great
heaviness
upon my fainting spirit

but self pity does not ensue
instead i find myself exposed
doubting once again
the heart of God
for me

inside my mind
recalled blessings remind
lilies opening--displaying vibrant beauty
familiar faces--proclaiming Your faithfulness
love accepted--with undeserved marveling
cup overflowing

shall i accept good from the hand of God
and not adversity?
shall i sacrifice the blessing of suffering
in pursuit of comfort?
shall i crumble beneath burdens
to be laid at Jesus’ feet?

my cries may echo
“why won’t You help me?
why won’t You help me?”
but they are met by Your response
“I AM
and I want so much more for you.”


Job 2:9–10 "Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips."

May the reality of God's heart for me never fail to penetrate my doubt.