Strength

Lately in conversation, the declaration of God giving strength to His people has stood out to me. Often times when I share the pains of the past few years, I hear others praise the Lord that He has given me the strength to get through it. And this is true, but not in the way I would typically describe it.

You see, there are times God gives me strength and there are times He simply IS strength for me. Both display and provide strength that is not my own, but the way in which it is given has been so profoundly different in my life. I wanted to try to articulate what I mean as the consideration of what it feels like moves me to tears every time.

I’m not a strong person, but I have walked through many things that have required great strength. And it is ok. It is ok that I’m not strong because my God is. Yes, sometimes He strengthens my spaghetti arms for battle and I am able to stand up in the face of things that should otherwise crush me and know victory. This is a beautiful thing; the contrast of what I am alone and who I am in the Lord is glorious, marvelous and mysterious.

But over the last few years, I have come to see and know God’s strength in another way. Like I said, I am not a strong person; over the past few years, those looking in on me has seen my fragility, they have tiptoed around my weaknesses and vulnerabilities with much care to not crush me. Because life has weighed heavy on me; it has beaten my heart, my spirit, my soul until I have been emptied out, left clinging to what I know, afraid to even look around me.

And yet, God has given me strength. No, He has not filled my body with power for battle (or even the ability to stand sometimes); He has not stopped life’s crushing blows from bombarding me...No, He has let me remain in my weakness.

Instead, He has spread out His strength beneath me so that I have had something soft and sturdy to land upon when I have fallen; He has wrapped His strength around me so that the broken pieces of me have not been lost along this jarring road I’ve walked; His strength has laid beside me when I have been unable to lift my weary head; He has bridled His strength to patiently listened to the endless, tired cries of every pain I have felt. And though I am not strong, I have walked through these years that have required great strength.

Because God is not just strength that replaces or pushes out weakness, sometimes He is simply strength IN weakness. In both He is sufficient, in both He is merciful, in both He is kind, in both He is faithful.

So I can echo the Psalmist (18:1) with all honesty in the face of my frailty, “I love You, Lord, my Strength.” And when you praise the Lord for the strength He has provided, I hope you will marvel with me at the beauty of what the simple presence of His strength can do for the weak and weary saint.