who has filled my open hand?

the scorpion
©hannah mclean 8-3-16

i look down at the scorpion in my hand
its glaring eyes burn with hatred
as it takes a threatening pose
pointing its venomous tail in my direction

my response is not so much fear
at its presence
as it is confusion

why is there a scorpion in my hand?
i wonder

i sat before You, Father,
for the first time nearly 2 years ago
having mustered up the courage
to believe in Your affections for me
enough to extend my hand to You
in utter humility asking You
to meet my need

a good gift
i needed a good gift

i look down at the scorpion in my hand
setting upon my open palm
seething with evil
desiring my demise

and through my mind rolls Your words
“what father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent;
or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?
if you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”
Luke 11:11–13

why is there a scorpion in my hand?

You did not change
You are still who You say You are
Your goodness still good
Your affections still as my Father
Your intentions still heavenly

with my palm open before me
i see the enemy smirking at me from afar

for the moment I opened my hand
he placed upon it his cruelty
his diversion tactics
his perilous schemes
his twisted lies

he voice poured out a degrading whisper
a cadence in my vulnerable ears
of thoughts that could sway me
away from the One for whom I wait

and as i choose to stand
again and again each moment
upon the Truth
he perseveres
abrading my confidence
with empty threats
and accusations
against the One whom my soul loves

Father, i believe
this scorpion is not from You
help me cast off
this poisonous creature
help me abide
in Your presence
with my expectant hand
still stretched out to You
the One who gives good gifts

for You have said:
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives,
and the one who seeks finds,
and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”
Matthew 7:7–11