wounds

a father’s voice
©4-24-2020  hannah mclean

your voice was not there
my life moved from darkness to light
my heart changed from stone to flesh
my soul moved from death to life
and fruit abounds from the changes that transformed me from within
i hold out my offering for Him
allowing you to look upon the firstfruits of my life
desiring to share with you the beauty of what had been done
by the Almighty’s hand
but you turn your back and leave me
looking at the basket I cling to with an eager grip
wondering if i have woven it correctly
uncertain if the fruit will please Him
wishing i had something better
something more
to bring my Father

when i needed to hear you say to me
“well done, faithful one”
when i needed to hear you say to me
“i see evidence of God’s grace in you”
when i needed to hear you say to me
“He delights in your worship”
your voice was not there

but it is not just the absence of your affirmation
it is the volume of your turned back
“He will not accept your worship”
it is the volume of your voice withheld
“your thoughts of Him have no value”
it is the volume of your averted eyes
“the best of you cannot bring Him delight”

your voice was not there
and all these years later i still find myself
longing for a father’s voice
to affirm my steps
to build up my faith
to stand beside me and to spur me on
not because i crave the praise of man
but because the wounds i carry
seek healing balm
as i purpose to require and desire nothing
but the One I long to please