I am standing in the desert looking ahead at green on the horizon, the welcome shore to an endless sea of sand and dry and heat. Stretching forward across the expanse of green are many roads and far away over many hills stands the Cross against a backdrop of blue. As I stand, unable to discern which path leads to the Cross, satan shoots arrows at me.
Because here is the truth, he does not want me to leave this wilderness because God cannot use me here; and if I do succeed in leaving, he wants me to leave wounded so that the full effect of God’s purpose for my time here would not come to fruition but would instead leave me crippled.
And yet, as disconcerting as this uncertainty feels, as intimidating as these arrows may appear, this I know: It does not matter if I can discern which road before me leads to the Cross...I need only fix my eyes on Jesus and walk straight toward Him.
2 Chronicles 20:12b “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.”
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Fuel for prayer against human trafficking: Psalm 12
I have been gathering verses to aide me in organizing a night of prayer surrounding sex trafficking. These verses have stood out to me as I have gone throughout my usual times of reading and pondering the Word; sometimes they hit me like a ton of bricks and sometimes they brush against me like a gentle breeze. I thought it would be helpful in solidifying these verses if I meditated on and wrote about them. That being said:
--------
Today I was reading Psalm 12, it is a psalm lamenting the loss of those who are faithful to the Lord. It laments how the mouths of people speak only lies, revealing divided and proud hearts; how they have chosen to rely on the twists of their tongue and to disregard the truth, rejecting godliness in the wake of their wickedness. These things have led to injustice because, as it says in verse 8, “vileness is exalted among the children of man." Isaiah 5:20 says, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” When we exalt what is wicked, our decision bears evil fruit.
So as I read, I came to these words:
“Because the poor are plundered, because the needy groan, I will now arise,” says the Lord; “I will place him in the safety for which he longs.”
It follows up by saying:
“The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.”
In other words, unlike the twisted, evil tongues of the unfaithful that spew out wickedness leading to vile actions, the Lord does not lie. The Lord is holy and pure. The Lord seeks justice and the good of people. And His ability to fulfill His words trumps the unfaithful and boastful who think they are above Him.
“Because the poor are plundered”...consider the poverty of so many who are trafficked; the lack of resources and options, the vulnerabilities that lead their very bodies to being “plundered” by wicked men. Their innocence, safety, dignity stolen and denied.
“Because the needy groan”...consider the cries, the screams, the silence of the victims of these terrible crimes. Those drawing out these “groans” may think they are above consequence, but God hears, God sees and God cares.
“I will now arise”...Yes! Yes, Lord, do not hesitate another moment, ARISE! I pray, ARISE! Come on the clouds in anger, power and love, wielding Your scepter of justice as You do in Psalm 18. Do not delay, You must arise! You must arise. You must. You must arise...
...As I just wrote the words above, I heard inside my heart, “I HAVE arisen; it is My Church that must arise and that has now begun to rise. Their hand can wield My justice, My mercy and My power. Their hand can place the poor and needy into the safety for which they long. Arise! I say to you, My Church, ARISE!”
Yes. Your words are pure, because You, Lord, are pure. You do not lie, and therefore, I will arise in You here on earth, I will seek to lift up the needy and the plundered poor, I will proclaim Your power and position to those who deny You, and I will seek safety for those whose groans you have heard, whose tears You have gathered, who silent suffering You have seen. Help me be Your hands and feet in ending these horrific injustices against humanity.
--------
Today I was reading Psalm 12, it is a psalm lamenting the loss of those who are faithful to the Lord. It laments how the mouths of people speak only lies, revealing divided and proud hearts; how they have chosen to rely on the twists of their tongue and to disregard the truth, rejecting godliness in the wake of their wickedness. These things have led to injustice because, as it says in verse 8, “vileness is exalted among the children of man." Isaiah 5:20 says, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” When we exalt what is wicked, our decision bears evil fruit.
So as I read, I came to these words:
“Because the poor are plundered, because the needy groan, I will now arise,” says the Lord; “I will place him in the safety for which he longs.”
It follows up by saying:
“The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.”
In other words, unlike the twisted, evil tongues of the unfaithful that spew out wickedness leading to vile actions, the Lord does not lie. The Lord is holy and pure. The Lord seeks justice and the good of people. And His ability to fulfill His words trumps the unfaithful and boastful who think they are above Him.
“Because the poor are plundered”...consider the poverty of so many who are trafficked; the lack of resources and options, the vulnerabilities that lead their very bodies to being “plundered” by wicked men. Their innocence, safety, dignity stolen and denied.
“Because the needy groan”...consider the cries, the screams, the silence of the victims of these terrible crimes. Those drawing out these “groans” may think they are above consequence, but God hears, God sees and God cares.
“I will now arise”...Yes! Yes, Lord, do not hesitate another moment, ARISE! I pray, ARISE! Come on the clouds in anger, power and love, wielding Your scepter of justice as You do in Psalm 18. Do not delay, You must arise! You must arise. You must. You must arise...
...As I just wrote the words above, I heard inside my heart, “I HAVE arisen; it is My Church that must arise and that has now begun to rise. Their hand can wield My justice, My mercy and My power. Their hand can place the poor and needy into the safety for which they long. Arise! I say to you, My Church, ARISE!”
Yes. Your words are pure, because You, Lord, are pure. You do not lie, and therefore, I will arise in You here on earth, I will seek to lift up the needy and the plundered poor, I will proclaim Your power and position to those who deny You, and I will seek safety for those whose groans you have heard, whose tears You have gathered, who silent suffering You have seen. Help me be Your hands and feet in ending these horrific injustices against humanity.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
#yesallwomen
There’s this #yesallwomen twitter campaign floating around in the aftermath of a recent shooting spree. And regardless of whether or not you feel it is an appropriate response to the twisted views articulated in the manifesto of a young man who is now dead, I think it merits thought and discussion amongst yourselves and the people in your life.
When I first encountered these statements tagged with #yesallwomen, I was taken aback by my emotional response to them...sort of like when you encounter something you had always seen as normal and for the first time saw what it really was and suddenly realized what you had lost. I felt sorrow. Genuine sorrow, because when I read these tweets, I felt this reality of “Yes, I am one of the ‘all’.”
I like to think that the way I live and walk through life is not fueled by fear; as a naturally fearful woman, I actively (and daily) seek to trade in my fears for faith. I like to think that the thoughts surrounding my encounters with men are just me being smart; for instance, it is smarter to walk 4 blocks out of my way instead of walking past a group of men, it is smarter to talk on a phone while speed-walking alone through a parking lot at night than to walk at a normal pace, it is smart to tell my 3-year-old daughter not to play in back hallways or empty rooms in the church without me. I like to think that I am not someone who naturally distrusts my fellow human beings of the male variety, but if that is the case, than why do I take “smart” precautions?
I don’t really know when and how I got here...to the place where #yesallwomen’s voice speaks for me (though our lives didn’t intersect, we’ve gathered the same defenses). I wasn’t always so cautious, so fearful...so “smart.” Maybe it started when I agreed with the Lord to open my eyes to the world around me. I used to avoid the news and the content of the world’s goings on because, “I just couldn’t handle what I saw and heard.” But then I met Jesus, and Jesus’ eyes see and His ears hear and His heart handles all the pains and the sorrows and the things that are too hard to look at...and I told Him, “I want to see things the way You see them even if it breaks my heart.” Then He opened my eyes to see poverty, orphans, the AIDS crisis, rape, genocide, corruption, injustice, hate, hopelessness...the lengths of the lost and the darkness of the wicked and the pain of the oppressed and the helplessness of unsaved.
Or maybe it started earlier than that...
It has been a while since I’ve been confronted with my past (I have found that the Lord heals in layers). I didn’t always walk with Him, I accepted the salvation He offered me in the Spring of 2003 and submitted my life to Him fully a year later. This simple hashtag has brought into the light things I didn’t even realize I had repressed of violations of men against me. The earliest ones that have entered my mind began at my first job...men who left me feeling unsafe in broad daylight. I remember once as I stood on top of a ladder restocking shelves, a coworker walked through my aisle with a smile on his face and I asked, “Why are you smiling?” His response was, “I’m just picturing you naked.” I remember feeling grateful I was up on a ladder.
I used to go out dancing with friends. I was so naive. I thought that I could enter into an atmosphere with the context of people hooking up and remain unscathed because that was not my desire or intention...but as I think back to scenario after scenario, boys seemed to interpret an accepted invitation to dance as a free-access pass to my body. I remember slapping a guy once and him walking away with a look on his face like he was thinking “worth it”; if the only consequence to his violating a woman’s body was a literal slap in the face, he would definitely do it again...in his mind, I was not a person but an object. The response of the people I was with was always to laugh it off, I mean, what a freak, how funny, let’s give him a nickname (ie “the jackhammer”) and move on. And then there was my time in college, which brought out its own encounters that left me shaking with fear and/or anger...it is actually no small miracle that I ever learned how to trust any man.
But as I think back on these various situations; inappropriately touched by men I didn’t know, arguing my way out of invitations for one-night stands, repeating the word “no” followed by apparent required explanations and reasons (unoffensive ones at that, it is safer to deal with a man’s lust than to deal with both his lust AND his anger) as to why I was turning down what I should have seen as desirable offers, I realize there is nothing laughable about any of it.
Because we as a society excuse away the crude, despicable behaviors of men by asking the woman where she was at, what she was wearing, etc.; we laugh off “boys being boys” and explain away the offenses as compliments; we show girls who will grow up to be women that what men think of them is of utmost importance and boys who will grow up to be men oblige by laying down the standards to which they must comply. And it’s not funny, it’s not funny that we believe this wicked system; it’s not funny that it produces girls with vulnerabilities and boys who idolize sex. It’s not funny that the sex trade is a multi-billion dollar industry that places human beings into a category of sub-humans that are viewed as a commodity acceptable to sell, use, abuse and discard; it’s not funny that men are trained to look at women as objects and women are trained to believe it and/or simply given tools to hopefully survive a broken system.
But where ever it started, somewhere along the line, I adapted to the realities of this world...I got smart. Because here is the truth: The world walks in the way of the wicked, and this means that the way it views women perpetuates fear in them...it requires them to be smart to combat the dangers that face them. The world belittles a woman, boiling down her worth to her body and the pleasure that can be drawn from it. And it belittles a man, boiling his worth down to his pleasures. It is not just the men who belittle, it is also the women who believe they are what satan seeks to make them believe they are using the various avenues culture offers.
Don’t jump to the conclusion that I am saying men are bad and women are good. I believe that most men are not a danger to me, most men would protect me if I was in harms way...and it is unfortunate that I can’t easily see which ones they are. Because they’re lumped in my mind with statistical evidences of varying degrees of danger: The plumber fixing the drain in my bathroom reminds me that the most common users of women in the sex trade are blue-collar workers; the boy on the playground is an automatic threat to my daughters’ innocence because most boys encounter porn by the time they are 9-years-old; the cat-call from the construction site brings to mind the truth that 1 in 5 women have been raped...and so I walk faster, I watch closer and I make sure I mention my 6’5” husband to the handyman.
What I AM saying is that we all desperately need Jesus. There are many men in my life who I respect, trust and greatly look up to. In fact, one of the greatest things that stood out to me when I encountered people with living faith in Christ was how different the men were; they treated me with respect and dignity, they protected me and sought my good, they didn’t take from me, instead they sought to preserve me. And this was not because I was upright and respectable...coming out of the life I lived with the mess I carried I remember someone calling me a temptress (while it was said with a smile, I did not take that as a compliment but a reality check). But these men who loved Jesus covered what I had learned to reveal and would not take what I had learned to offer; but instead, they applied to me a worth that was proclaimed of me by my Maker. And I remember how strikingly safe I felt...a safety that made me weep; weep because I lived in such a contrast and hadn’t even known it, and because I had found a place that didn’t require the painful walls I had erected to survive.
So yes, the statements we find in #yesallwomen are ugly. They are ugly because they deny the truth that God lays out. If men treated women the way God designed them to, if humans viewed themselves and each other the way God views them, if society didn’t negate the innate value of every man, woman and child, the content of the #yesallwomen tags would be remarkably different.
Until then, I would encourage you to honestly consider the statements you read surrounding this topic; consider the emotions behind the women’s words and what brought them about, consider if you have thought the same thing their perpetrators thought concerning a woman, consider what the media and Hollywood say to you about females and femininity...and then consider Jesus.
If I tweeted, here would be a few tweets I would contribute:
#yesallwomen may be stuck in this reality, but have the offer of a future free of it. #givemeJesus
#yesallwomen have value and worth that has nothing to do with what is attributed to or denied us by the world around us and everything to do with what is proclaimed of us by our Creator.
#yesallwomen will receive justice for the abuses against them. #ElRoi-theGodwhosees
When I first encountered these statements tagged with #yesallwomen, I was taken aback by my emotional response to them...sort of like when you encounter something you had always seen as normal and for the first time saw what it really was and suddenly realized what you had lost. I felt sorrow. Genuine sorrow, because when I read these tweets, I felt this reality of “Yes, I am one of the ‘all’.”
I like to think that the way I live and walk through life is not fueled by fear; as a naturally fearful woman, I actively (and daily) seek to trade in my fears for faith. I like to think that the thoughts surrounding my encounters with men are just me being smart; for instance, it is smarter to walk 4 blocks out of my way instead of walking past a group of men, it is smarter to talk on a phone while speed-walking alone through a parking lot at night than to walk at a normal pace, it is smart to tell my 3-year-old daughter not to play in back hallways or empty rooms in the church without me. I like to think that I am not someone who naturally distrusts my fellow human beings of the male variety, but if that is the case, than why do I take “smart” precautions?
I don’t really know when and how I got here...to the place where #yesallwomen’s voice speaks for me (though our lives didn’t intersect, we’ve gathered the same defenses). I wasn’t always so cautious, so fearful...so “smart.” Maybe it started when I agreed with the Lord to open my eyes to the world around me. I used to avoid the news and the content of the world’s goings on because, “I just couldn’t handle what I saw and heard.” But then I met Jesus, and Jesus’ eyes see and His ears hear and His heart handles all the pains and the sorrows and the things that are too hard to look at...and I told Him, “I want to see things the way You see them even if it breaks my heart.” Then He opened my eyes to see poverty, orphans, the AIDS crisis, rape, genocide, corruption, injustice, hate, hopelessness...the lengths of the lost and the darkness of the wicked and the pain of the oppressed and the helplessness of unsaved.
Or maybe it started earlier than that...
It has been a while since I’ve been confronted with my past (I have found that the Lord heals in layers). I didn’t always walk with Him, I accepted the salvation He offered me in the Spring of 2003 and submitted my life to Him fully a year later. This simple hashtag has brought into the light things I didn’t even realize I had repressed of violations of men against me. The earliest ones that have entered my mind began at my first job...men who left me feeling unsafe in broad daylight. I remember once as I stood on top of a ladder restocking shelves, a coworker walked through my aisle with a smile on his face and I asked, “Why are you smiling?” His response was, “I’m just picturing you naked.” I remember feeling grateful I was up on a ladder.
I used to go out dancing with friends. I was so naive. I thought that I could enter into an atmosphere with the context of people hooking up and remain unscathed because that was not my desire or intention...but as I think back to scenario after scenario, boys seemed to interpret an accepted invitation to dance as a free-access pass to my body. I remember slapping a guy once and him walking away with a look on his face like he was thinking “worth it”; if the only consequence to his violating a woman’s body was a literal slap in the face, he would definitely do it again...in his mind, I was not a person but an object. The response of the people I was with was always to laugh it off, I mean, what a freak, how funny, let’s give him a nickname (ie “the jackhammer”) and move on. And then there was my time in college, which brought out its own encounters that left me shaking with fear and/or anger...it is actually no small miracle that I ever learned how to trust any man.
But as I think back on these various situations; inappropriately touched by men I didn’t know, arguing my way out of invitations for one-night stands, repeating the word “no” followed by apparent required explanations and reasons (unoffensive ones at that, it is safer to deal with a man’s lust than to deal with both his lust AND his anger) as to why I was turning down what I should have seen as desirable offers, I realize there is nothing laughable about any of it.
Because we as a society excuse away the crude, despicable behaviors of men by asking the woman where she was at, what she was wearing, etc.; we laugh off “boys being boys” and explain away the offenses as compliments; we show girls who will grow up to be women that what men think of them is of utmost importance and boys who will grow up to be men oblige by laying down the standards to which they must comply. And it’s not funny, it’s not funny that we believe this wicked system; it’s not funny that it produces girls with vulnerabilities and boys who idolize sex. It’s not funny that the sex trade is a multi-billion dollar industry that places human beings into a category of sub-humans that are viewed as a commodity acceptable to sell, use, abuse and discard; it’s not funny that men are trained to look at women as objects and women are trained to believe it and/or simply given tools to hopefully survive a broken system.
But where ever it started, somewhere along the line, I adapted to the realities of this world...I got smart. Because here is the truth: The world walks in the way of the wicked, and this means that the way it views women perpetuates fear in them...it requires them to be smart to combat the dangers that face them. The world belittles a woman, boiling down her worth to her body and the pleasure that can be drawn from it. And it belittles a man, boiling his worth down to his pleasures. It is not just the men who belittle, it is also the women who believe they are what satan seeks to make them believe they are using the various avenues culture offers.
Don’t jump to the conclusion that I am saying men are bad and women are good. I believe that most men are not a danger to me, most men would protect me if I was in harms way...and it is unfortunate that I can’t easily see which ones they are. Because they’re lumped in my mind with statistical evidences of varying degrees of danger: The plumber fixing the drain in my bathroom reminds me that the most common users of women in the sex trade are blue-collar workers; the boy on the playground is an automatic threat to my daughters’ innocence because most boys encounter porn by the time they are 9-years-old; the cat-call from the construction site brings to mind the truth that 1 in 5 women have been raped...and so I walk faster, I watch closer and I make sure I mention my 6’5” husband to the handyman.
What I AM saying is that we all desperately need Jesus. There are many men in my life who I respect, trust and greatly look up to. In fact, one of the greatest things that stood out to me when I encountered people with living faith in Christ was how different the men were; they treated me with respect and dignity, they protected me and sought my good, they didn’t take from me, instead they sought to preserve me. And this was not because I was upright and respectable...coming out of the life I lived with the mess I carried I remember someone calling me a temptress (while it was said with a smile, I did not take that as a compliment but a reality check). But these men who loved Jesus covered what I had learned to reveal and would not take what I had learned to offer; but instead, they applied to me a worth that was proclaimed of me by my Maker. And I remember how strikingly safe I felt...a safety that made me weep; weep because I lived in such a contrast and hadn’t even known it, and because I had found a place that didn’t require the painful walls I had erected to survive.
So yes, the statements we find in #yesallwomen are ugly. They are ugly because they deny the truth that God lays out. If men treated women the way God designed them to, if humans viewed themselves and each other the way God views them, if society didn’t negate the innate value of every man, woman and child, the content of the #yesallwomen tags would be remarkably different.
Until then, I would encourage you to honestly consider the statements you read surrounding this topic; consider the emotions behind the women’s words and what brought them about, consider if you have thought the same thing their perpetrators thought concerning a woman, consider what the media and Hollywood say to you about females and femininity...and then consider Jesus.
If I tweeted, here would be a few tweets I would contribute:
#yesallwomen may be stuck in this reality, but have the offer of a future free of it. #givemeJesus
#yesallwomen have value and worth that has nothing to do with what is attributed to or denied us by the world around us and everything to do with what is proclaimed of us by our Creator.
#yesallwomen will receive justice for the abuses against them. #ElRoi-theGodwhosees
Sunday, May 4, 2014
the flatterer and the accuser
the flatterer and the accuser
©5-4-14 hannah mclean
tongues bombard me
the flatterer and the accuser
creating confusion
in places of struggle and sin
the flatterer says
“stay!
all is well.
peace, peace,”
it sings to the places where
there is no peace
“do not consider, do not change,
listen as i sing your praises
lest you look upon your shame.”
in places of purity and redemption
the accuser says
“go back!
you are not well.
pick up the chains of the past
and wrap them around your neck
you are naked and shamed
without them.
you have not changed
nor can you ever.”
and to these tongues
which fill my ears with wicked lies
i say
“shut your mouth, satan.
it is the Spirit that both
affirms
and convicts
and you are not Him.
i will not overlook the sin that stains my heart
because you sing my accolades
serenading me with
hollow, flowery compliments
in a pursuit to drown out His voice
that desires my holiness.
and i will not doubt the reality of His redemption
as your judgments ring around my head
accusing me of walking amid your ranks
denying me the realities of
His redeeming work
and accrediting your work
to my clean hands.
hold your tongue.
i do not live at your beck and call
i will not swoon at your validations
nor grovel at your accusations.
it is the Spirit that both
affirms
and convicts
and you are not Him.”
©5-4-14 hannah mclean
tongues bombard me
the flatterer and the accuser
creating confusion
in places of struggle and sin
the flatterer says
“stay!
all is well.
peace, peace,”
it sings to the places where
there is no peace
“do not consider, do not change,
listen as i sing your praises
lest you look upon your shame.”
in places of purity and redemption
the accuser says
“go back!
you are not well.
pick up the chains of the past
and wrap them around your neck
you are naked and shamed
without them.
you have not changed
nor can you ever.”
and to these tongues
which fill my ears with wicked lies
i say
“shut your mouth, satan.
it is the Spirit that both
affirms
and convicts
and you are not Him.
i will not overlook the sin that stains my heart
because you sing my accolades
serenading me with
hollow, flowery compliments
in a pursuit to drown out His voice
that desires my holiness.
and i will not doubt the reality of His redemption
as your judgments ring around my head
accusing me of walking amid your ranks
denying me the realities of
His redeeming work
and accrediting your work
to my clean hands.
hold your tongue.
i do not live at your beck and call
i will not swoon at your validations
nor grovel at your accusations.
it is the Spirit that both
affirms
and convicts
and you are not Him.”
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Strength
Lately in conversation, the declaration of God giving strength to His people has stood out to me. Often times when I share the pains of the past few years, I hear others praise the Lord that He has given me the strength to get through it. And this is true, but not in the way I would typically describe it.
You see, there are times God gives me strength and there are times He simply IS strength for me. Both display and provide strength that is not my own, but the way in which it is given has been so profoundly different in my life. I wanted to try to articulate what I mean as the consideration of what it feels like moves me to tears every time.
I’m not a strong person, but I have walked through many things that have required great strength. And it is ok. It is ok that I’m not strong because my God is. Yes, sometimes He strengthens my spaghetti arms for battle and I am able to stand up in the face of things that should otherwise crush me and know victory. This is a beautiful thing; the contrast of what I am alone and who I am in the Lord is glorious, marvelous and mysterious.
But over the last few years, I have come to see and know God’s strength in another way. Like I said, I am not a strong person; over the past few years, those looking in on me has seen my fragility, they have tiptoed around my weaknesses and vulnerabilities with much care to not crush me. Because life has weighed heavy on me; it has beaten my heart, my spirit, my soul until I have been emptied out, left clinging to what I know, afraid to even look around me.
And yet, God has given me strength. No, He has not filled my body with power for battle (or even the ability to stand sometimes); He has not stopped life’s crushing blows from bombarding me...No, He has let me remain in my weakness.
Instead, He has spread out His strength beneath me so that I have had something soft and sturdy to land upon when I have fallen; He has wrapped His strength around me so that the broken pieces of me have not been lost along this jarring road I’ve walked; His strength has laid beside me when I have been unable to lift my weary head; He has bridled His strength to patiently listened to the endless, tired cries of every pain I have felt. And though I am not strong, I have walked through these years that have required great strength.
Because God is not just strength that replaces or pushes out weakness, sometimes He is simply strength IN weakness. In both He is sufficient, in both He is merciful, in both He is kind, in both He is faithful.
So I can echo the Psalmist (18:1) with all honesty in the face of my frailty, “I love You, Lord, my Strength.” And when you praise the Lord for the strength He has provided, I hope you will marvel with me at the beauty of what the simple presence of His strength can do for the weak and weary saint.
You see, there are times God gives me strength and there are times He simply IS strength for me. Both display and provide strength that is not my own, but the way in which it is given has been so profoundly different in my life. I wanted to try to articulate what I mean as the consideration of what it feels like moves me to tears every time.
I’m not a strong person, but I have walked through many things that have required great strength. And it is ok. It is ok that I’m not strong because my God is. Yes, sometimes He strengthens my spaghetti arms for battle and I am able to stand up in the face of things that should otherwise crush me and know victory. This is a beautiful thing; the contrast of what I am alone and who I am in the Lord is glorious, marvelous and mysterious.
But over the last few years, I have come to see and know God’s strength in another way. Like I said, I am not a strong person; over the past few years, those looking in on me has seen my fragility, they have tiptoed around my weaknesses and vulnerabilities with much care to not crush me. Because life has weighed heavy on me; it has beaten my heart, my spirit, my soul until I have been emptied out, left clinging to what I know, afraid to even look around me.
And yet, God has given me strength. No, He has not filled my body with power for battle (or even the ability to stand sometimes); He has not stopped life’s crushing blows from bombarding me...No, He has let me remain in my weakness.
Instead, He has spread out His strength beneath me so that I have had something soft and sturdy to land upon when I have fallen; He has wrapped His strength around me so that the broken pieces of me have not been lost along this jarring road I’ve walked; His strength has laid beside me when I have been unable to lift my weary head; He has bridled His strength to patiently listened to the endless, tired cries of every pain I have felt. And though I am not strong, I have walked through these years that have required great strength.
Because God is not just strength that replaces or pushes out weakness, sometimes He is simply strength IN weakness. In both He is sufficient, in both He is merciful, in both He is kind, in both He is faithful.
So I can echo the Psalmist (18:1) with all honesty in the face of my frailty, “I love You, Lord, my Strength.” And when you praise the Lord for the strength He has provided, I hope you will marvel with me at the beauty of what the simple presence of His strength can do for the weak and weary saint.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Mediations on Colossians: The knowedge of His will
Colossians 1:9-10
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.
“To be filled with the knowledge of His will.”
If I had a penny for every time I have heard someone express exasperation over their desire to know God’s will for them in a particular situation and that they find themselves unable to hear His clear direction, I would have many pennies. (For the record, I count myself among the “someones” mentioned above.) To those of us who struggle with this question and the seeming silence we find on the other side of our prayers and pleadings to the Lord in the daily situations we encounter, this place in Colossians should bring us much relief.
How do we attain the knowledge of His will? He tells us here that it requires SPIRITUAL wisdom and understanding. He also tells us clearly His will for us in a broad, yet specific, sense: (1) That we walk in a manner worthy of Him, (2) that we bear fruit in every good work and (3) that we increase in the knowledge of Him.
I truly believe that often the reason we encounter silence as we ask the Lord, “What is Your will in this situation?” comes not from His lack of desire to lead us (He’s always faithful to His promises and one of those promises is to lead), but instead from our error of seeking His will with our minds. We rationalize, we scrutinize every option, we pour over our pro/con lists...we push aside the Spirit with our over-analytical minds and paralyze ourselves. But here is the truth, it is the Spirit that reveals direction and wisdom for the directing of our lives because He has the power to bring about the understanding of the heart of God. 1 Corinthians 2:10 says that “...God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.”
We may not be able to find in scripture the specific answer to what school to go to, what country to minister to, whether or not to marry a certain person...but what we do find are direction to what the will of God for us looks like: God wants our life to please Him (scripture tells us what attributes are pleasing to God), He wants us to grow in doing what is good and right (scripture tells us what the fruits of the Spirit are and how we are to love others), and He wants us to grow in the knowledge of Him (scripture tells us who He is and what He is and how He is). It is that simple. There are many choices in life that don’t have a clear “right” and “wrong,” and that’s not the point of our lives anyway...if you desire that your life reflects the will of God for you, than put Him always before you and allow your faith to stretch as you move forward in the choice you make--trusting His character, His hand and His power will be with you. Psalm 16:9 “I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.”
Isn’t it enough that a heart truly desires to please the Lord? God knows what we are: Psalm 103:14 “For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” He knows the limitations we possess...is He really so cruel and distant as to say, “Know what I want of you, know the way you should walk, know the desires of My heart...Go!” without providing the means? No! Instead He puts His spirit in us as a helper and gives us His word as a lamp to show the path our feet should walk. His requirement of us is “Wash yourself in the blood of My Son and follow Me.” That is all. If He is big enough to purify us from our sins and restore our relationship with a holy God, surely He is big enough to cover us as we walk through the daily decisions we face...not because we know exactly what decision to make, but because He is faithful.
I think it is enough. I think it is enough to have a heart that sincerely says, “I want my life to reflect YOUR will for me, I want my life to please You, I want my steps to follow You, I want to hear Your voice. Do with me as You wish.” What more would the Lord require from imperfect dust? His grace is sufficient for our physical limitations and if His Spirit lives in us, we already possess the knowledge of His will for us.
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.
“To be filled with the knowledge of His will.”
If I had a penny for every time I have heard someone express exasperation over their desire to know God’s will for them in a particular situation and that they find themselves unable to hear His clear direction, I would have many pennies. (For the record, I count myself among the “someones” mentioned above.) To those of us who struggle with this question and the seeming silence we find on the other side of our prayers and pleadings to the Lord in the daily situations we encounter, this place in Colossians should bring us much relief.
How do we attain the knowledge of His will? He tells us here that it requires SPIRITUAL wisdom and understanding. He also tells us clearly His will for us in a broad, yet specific, sense: (1) That we walk in a manner worthy of Him, (2) that we bear fruit in every good work and (3) that we increase in the knowledge of Him.
I truly believe that often the reason we encounter silence as we ask the Lord, “What is Your will in this situation?” comes not from His lack of desire to lead us (He’s always faithful to His promises and one of those promises is to lead), but instead from our error of seeking His will with our minds. We rationalize, we scrutinize every option, we pour over our pro/con lists...we push aside the Spirit with our over-analytical minds and paralyze ourselves. But here is the truth, it is the Spirit that reveals direction and wisdom for the directing of our lives because He has the power to bring about the understanding of the heart of God. 1 Corinthians 2:10 says that “...God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.”
We may not be able to find in scripture the specific answer to what school to go to, what country to minister to, whether or not to marry a certain person...but what we do find are direction to what the will of God for us looks like: God wants our life to please Him (scripture tells us what attributes are pleasing to God), He wants us to grow in doing what is good and right (scripture tells us what the fruits of the Spirit are and how we are to love others), and He wants us to grow in the knowledge of Him (scripture tells us who He is and what He is and how He is). It is that simple. There are many choices in life that don’t have a clear “right” and “wrong,” and that’s not the point of our lives anyway...if you desire that your life reflects the will of God for you, than put Him always before you and allow your faith to stretch as you move forward in the choice you make--trusting His character, His hand and His power will be with you. Psalm 16:9 “I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.”
Isn’t it enough that a heart truly desires to please the Lord? God knows what we are: Psalm 103:14 “For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” He knows the limitations we possess...is He really so cruel and distant as to say, “Know what I want of you, know the way you should walk, know the desires of My heart...Go!” without providing the means? No! Instead He puts His spirit in us as a helper and gives us His word as a lamp to show the path our feet should walk. His requirement of us is “Wash yourself in the blood of My Son and follow Me.” That is all. If He is big enough to purify us from our sins and restore our relationship with a holy God, surely He is big enough to cover us as we walk through the daily decisions we face...not because we know exactly what decision to make, but because He is faithful.
I think it is enough. I think it is enough to have a heart that sincerely says, “I want my life to reflect YOUR will for me, I want my life to please You, I want my steps to follow You, I want to hear Your voice. Do with me as You wish.” What more would the Lord require from imperfect dust? His grace is sufficient for our physical limitations and if His Spirit lives in us, we already possess the knowledge of His will for us.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Meditations on Colossians: The blood of peace
We’ve begun our study of the book of Colossians in our Life Group. I told my husband this morning, “There is some good stuff in there.” As I read through the first chapter, writing down my observations as I went, I found myself engulfed in several portions along the way. If I can gather some moments in my chaotic days, I would like to write out some of my meditations on this book.
Here is the first:
Colossians 1:19–20
“For in [Jesus] all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross.”
As I read, I was very struck by the phrase “making peace by the blood of His cross.”
Have you ever considered the blood of the cross? I mean really looked at it? Today I saw the blood as it ran down the cross of Christ. I saw it, red and dripping from the top of the head of my Lord where the thorns of a twisted, mocking crown pressed into his limp and hanging head; it ran down His face, matting his hair; it dripped from his hands spread out and held in place by cruelly pounded nails; it poured from his side until only water remained; it flowed down between the wooden grooves of the hewn beams until it pooled at the foot of His cross.
And as I considered this trail of blood, I considered the contrast of what it must have looked like through the eyes of satan and what this passage in Colossians tells us it looked like through the eyes of God.
To satan, the blood of the crucifixion represented a violent attempt at victory; I imagine it said, “I have killed the Messiah, now He cannot bruise my head (Genesis 3)”; it was intended to thwart the redemptive plans of God; to crush his dignity, His deity, His authority, His royalty, His power; it was beaten and torn out of the flesh of Christ to humiliate and bring about pain; it was to represent the victory of sin, death and the power of the devil...
and yet, to God, it was the blood of peace.
It was the blood of peace...the red, flowing flag of surrender. Surrender not to the enemy but to the love of the One True and Living God. To God--the Creator, the King, the Authority--this blood signaled not the victory of satan but the victory of Love as it brought about a reconciled relationship between holy God and sinful man. Because the fullness of God delighted to dwell in the body of Christ, His fullness filled every drop that left His crucified body, His fullness brought about the reconciling peace for which it fell. The very FULLNESS OF GOD ran from the first drops that flowed in Garden of Gethsemane from the brow of Jesus all the way to the place of shame up on the Hill of Golgotha, it fell upon the ground where pilot’s soldiers whipped Him until He barely resembled a man, it drained along the road beside the groove left behind by the cross He dragged, it flowed upon the ground as the nails were driven through His flesh, and dripped from His perch of shame until only water remained. Jesus the god-man was not alone as He walked the path to willingly lay His life down for the sake of sinners; He literally dripped the fullness of God every step of the way. To God, this blood was the blood of peace...it was shed to reconcile ALL things to Himself. It did represent victory, not of the destroying power of satan, but of the life-giving power of God for those who believe.
So today, I considered the blood...and the contrast of what the eyes of those observing saw when they looked upon the cross of Christ. Because no matter what satan may have intended or saw as Jesus died that day, he did not know...in those moments, satan did not know that the blood was the glory of God, it was the love of God, it was the peace of God.
I pray today that you may know this peace made by the blood of the cross of Christ; that you delight in a reconciled life with your Creator; and that you stand beneath the fullness of God as it flows through the cross.
Here is the first:
Colossians 1:19–20
“For in [Jesus] all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross.”
As I read, I was very struck by the phrase “making peace by the blood of His cross.”
Have you ever considered the blood of the cross? I mean really looked at it? Today I saw the blood as it ran down the cross of Christ. I saw it, red and dripping from the top of the head of my Lord where the thorns of a twisted, mocking crown pressed into his limp and hanging head; it ran down His face, matting his hair; it dripped from his hands spread out and held in place by cruelly pounded nails; it poured from his side until only water remained; it flowed down between the wooden grooves of the hewn beams until it pooled at the foot of His cross.
And as I considered this trail of blood, I considered the contrast of what it must have looked like through the eyes of satan and what this passage in Colossians tells us it looked like through the eyes of God.
To satan, the blood of the crucifixion represented a violent attempt at victory; I imagine it said, “I have killed the Messiah, now He cannot bruise my head (Genesis 3)”; it was intended to thwart the redemptive plans of God; to crush his dignity, His deity, His authority, His royalty, His power; it was beaten and torn out of the flesh of Christ to humiliate and bring about pain; it was to represent the victory of sin, death and the power of the devil...
and yet, to God, it was the blood of peace.
It was the blood of peace...the red, flowing flag of surrender. Surrender not to the enemy but to the love of the One True and Living God. To God--the Creator, the King, the Authority--this blood signaled not the victory of satan but the victory of Love as it brought about a reconciled relationship between holy God and sinful man. Because the fullness of God delighted to dwell in the body of Christ, His fullness filled every drop that left His crucified body, His fullness brought about the reconciling peace for which it fell. The very FULLNESS OF GOD ran from the first drops that flowed in Garden of Gethsemane from the brow of Jesus all the way to the place of shame up on the Hill of Golgotha, it fell upon the ground where pilot’s soldiers whipped Him until He barely resembled a man, it drained along the road beside the groove left behind by the cross He dragged, it flowed upon the ground as the nails were driven through His flesh, and dripped from His perch of shame until only water remained. Jesus the god-man was not alone as He walked the path to willingly lay His life down for the sake of sinners; He literally dripped the fullness of God every step of the way. To God, this blood was the blood of peace...it was shed to reconcile ALL things to Himself. It did represent victory, not of the destroying power of satan, but of the life-giving power of God for those who believe.
So today, I considered the blood...and the contrast of what the eyes of those observing saw when they looked upon the cross of Christ. Because no matter what satan may have intended or saw as Jesus died that day, he did not know...in those moments, satan did not know that the blood was the glory of God, it was the love of God, it was the peace of God.
I pray today that you may know this peace made by the blood of the cross of Christ; that you delight in a reconciled life with your Creator; and that you stand beneath the fullness of God as it flows through the cross.
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