The cross on the side of Ohio State Route 444

Dearest Noah,

Nathan made a cross for us to put in the place where you died.
 

I carried it for you...
from my house and through the airport
onto the plane and to Ohio
to the hotel and finally
to the place where you died.
It was an honor to carry your cross.
I wrote your name on it.
I wanted people to know
that it wasn’t just a bicyclist
who died there on Ohio State Route 444...
it was you:
Our brother, our son, our uncle, our friend
It was Noah David Muonio,
an incredible human being who we are deeply grieving the loss of.

I saw the place where you died, Noah.
I cried.
I saw the mark your tire made on the side of the road
I saw the place where you body landed
some 20 feet further.
I saw the position of your feet, carefully marked
with orange spray paint;
"RF"
"LF"
I saw the grass, discolored and matted down
where your body lay
alone on the side of the road,
the place where you took your last breath
and where,
in a piercing moment
we lost you.

It was healing to lay our hands
where your heart had been.
Every single one of us
longed to have been there
beside you
to hold your hand.
We reminded ourselves that
you were not alone.
You did not die alone
even though you died without us.

We love you.

We pounded in the cross
I carried for you
from my house and through the airport
onto the plane and to Ohio
to the hotel and finally
to the place where you died.
Your brothers faithfully
pounded it into the ground with a stone
that God had left there for us.
It is a small memorial
a simple, unpolished
cross of rough wood
written on with a sharpie...
you deserve much more.
But raw and present is what we could give you
and I know our efforts
would have pleased you.

We stood
and knelt
and held each other there.
We prayed, Noah
maybe you got to listen with the Lord
in heaven.
We gave the Lord our sorrow,
we asked Him to heal our broken hearts
and bind our wounds

because He is the healer.
We wept as we prayed blessing over the woman 

whose car took your life,
we asked Him for the greatest blessing
we could...
salvation and an eternity with Him
because “God SO loved the world
that He gave His only Son”
and whoever believes in Him
will not perish
but have eternal life.

We prayed over the breadth of our emotions

and all that was to come.
We prayed that God would help
us make the daily choice to say,
“Blessed be the Lord,
Who gives and
Who takes away.”

And then we sang a song
for you
“It’s one of those times when I really miss you...”
Our voices stumbled
through sliding octaves and warbling notes
but still we sang
because you loved to sing
and so do we.

When it was determined that
“In this earthly realm, some of us need to pee,”
We left our tears and blood
on the side of the road
and climbed back into
our caravan of government vans
and left behind
the orange paint,
the wooden cross,
the mark of your body,
and the details we will never know.

While it is true that
for now,
we have lost you
it is for forever that,
we will love you, Noah David Muonio.