Dignifying the Lord's house.

My health has stripped my physical body of its dignity.

It has diminished my body to a state 

so painful for me to dwell upon

that years ago, 
I simply separated myself from it.

As though it was of no worth,

had no benefit to offer me.

Naught but a cross to bear 

until I am made whole in eternity;

death seen as a welcome release

that will one day solidify the split.

My health has brought me pain;

deep wounds with great emotional collateral.

Unable to better my physical person

I chose instead to set it aside--

an amputee of sorts--

investing in the things this side of heaven

that will join me there.

Desiring instead to 

“let your adornment be the hidden person of the heart

with imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, 

which is God’s sight is very precious.”

In God’s sight. 

Over the years I have learned to live before the Lord alone,

perhaps first pressed by broken reasons,

but acceptable to Jesus none the less.

But there are weights that entangle,

causing our steps to trudge

and keeping us from running the race before us.

Good things that didn't begin as weights,

but that arrived there

when they began to hinder freedom. 

In God’s sight.

I live before Him now for other reasons;

reasons that allow me to look into the pain

and reclaim the dignity my health has stripped me of.

I have become vividly convicted of the fact

that God made me

a soul, a spirit AND a body.

My body is a third of who I am;

and while it is but dust,

it bears the image and likeness of my Creator

and holds within its walls

the Spirit of the living God.

It is not just a body,

it is a temple.

And not just a temple, 

but a temple of the living God.

Until I reach heaven,

where I get to physically worship

in His physical house,

He has chosen to enter into me

and make me

the physical dwelling place of the most High.

1 Corinthians 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?”

Armed with such a declaration,

I look upon this broken piece of flesh,

one I have averted my eyes from again and again.

Undignified by earthly standards.

I look upon this temple 

laid in ruin for many years.

And carefully

I set aside the words

I have spoken to it again and again.

I set aside the expectation

of what it is suppose to be to be acceptable.

And instead

I let it stand just as it is,
accepted by the One who made it His own;

a pile of bricks strewn upon a strong foundation

ready to be built back up.

And I place around my neck a cross

as upon a steeple

declaring to the world that 

this is a house of the Lord.

Psalm 84:1 “How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord of Hosts!”

I marvel as these words You gave me years ago

flow through my mind, 

“You restore to me

dignity.”