Has the enemy ever
told you something along these lines: “You can’t tell people what God is
doing in your life because you aren’t very good at articulating your
thoughts. Keep it to yourself. Let the eloquent speakers share; what
they have to say is of more value because it sounds prettier coming out
of their mouth. That person has letters behind their name, you should
just listen. If you want to speak, get some credentials. Until then, you
should ignore any inclination you have to speak about your walk with
Jesus...I mean, who do you think you are? Are you so proud? Do you
really think you’re so 'special' that you have something to ADD to the life
of the Church?! God wants you to be humble, that means you be quiet and
listen. A teachable person listens and doesn’t speak, you want to be
teachable and humble, right? Besides, that thing you were considering
sharing, in the whole scheme of things, it’s nothing; why would anyone
want to spend time hearing about your little struggles or your little
victories or you little life? Head down, mouth shut...that’s want
‘living a quiet and peaceable life’ means.”
If he has, I just
want to remind you of one little thing: The enemy is a big, fat liar.
Yes, a liar. And not just a slimy, twisting liar, but a being in
passionate pursuit of destroying the people of God, stealing the glory
of God and hindering the power of God from playing out in the broken
world.
I think it is important to get a conversation going, this
requires words. For me, because God made me introspective, I am
completely uncomfortable when I don't understand how I am doing or where
I am at. I confront my emotions and deal with the circumstances of my
life because I am unable to stuff things (for better or for worse).
Because of my reflective nature, I embrace the invitation to stand
before the Father in Christ with boldness and without shame--just as I
am--with great joy. I process through my emotions and pains and
confusions and questions in the presence of the Lord and the Truth of
His word. I know who I am before the Creator God who defines me. That
means, if I can boldly stand without shame before God, I can express the
things I am struggling with and learning about with boldness and
without shame before people. And I have found that the more I see and
understand about what God is doing in me and around me, the less I can
hold it in. But the more I share it, the more I hear the reasons why
many around me AREN’T sharing. They are silently living their lives with
Jesus because they "aren’t very eloquent of speech," the things they’re
learning "are just too insignificant," they "aren’t qualified" to have a
voice in people’s lives, etc. etc. (I can understand believing all of
these things, I’ve been silent because of them far too many times
myself.) So I find that while many people will listen to my life and my
revelations and my struggles and my victories, they hold back from
sharing with me their own.
But what is unfortunate about this
one-sided conversation (other than the fact that I desperately want to
hear from them), is that I firmly believe that the act of articulating
your thoughts and the work God is doing in you is a wonderful way of
observing them fully and allowing them to solidify in your heart and
mind. I honestly think it’s a vital step in completing the process of
the work God does in each of us: Put it in words--eloquent or ineloquent
is not the point--and share it.
I would encourage each of you
to line up your excuses (such as the ones listed above) and shoot them
down with Truth. Here is an example:
LIE: I’m not good at articulating myself.
TRUTH:
In the book of Exodus, God told Moses He was going to use him to free
His people from slavery, the largest exodus of all time. Upon hearing
this, barefoot in the presence of a holy God, Moses presented Him with
lots of reasons why he wasn’t the right man for the job; after all, he
wasn’t just ineloquent, he was slow of speech and tongue. Was God’s hand
shortened because of Moses’ deficits? Absolutely not. God took what
Moses DID have (ie a simple staff and an ineloquent, slow tongue) and
freed 600,000 male slaves (if you add the women and children, the number
could have been around ~2,400,000).
Because here is the truth:
The work of God in our lives belongs to Him. His work in us points to
Him, magnifies Him, glorifies Him, and reflects Him. It is not
self-exalting to share it because ultimately, it isn’t about us; it’s
about Jesus. And the power of our testimony doesn’t lie in the eloquence
of our words, it lies in Jesus. So we can offer up the words we do
have--jumbled or stumbled or stuttered doesn’t matter--they are filled
with potential because they are backed by pure, edifying power of our
magnificent God.
All this was really just a very long way of
exhorting you to fight your excuses! Put the enemy in his place, why
should he get to dictate what comes out of our mouths and what stays in?
Let's let the Lord direct our tongues. Can you imagine how much
potential there is for growth and for an offering of praise and glory to
the Lord if we would boldly testify to one another and invite each
other into the inter workings of our daily walk with Him?! Jesus said,
“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” If the work of
God in your heart DOESN’T overflow out of your mouth, then I would
encourage you to ponder it until it does.
And then tell me about it. :)
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Passionate ranting and sobering questions
We ran into a wonderful, godly man the other day. We had a moment to catch up, and he and my husband shared with each other some of the devastated lives they encountered in their work and ministry. As we unwound these broken situations, we looked behind the actions and considered where the cracks in their lives started; the young addict whose mother had shown him how to shoot up heroin, the 27-year-old man who was shown pornography as a 6-year-old boy on the playground at school, the suicidal young woman whose father walked out many years before...
As we spoke, questions arose. Questions like:
“Is there even hope to restore a life so broken?”
“Can someone emotionally and mentally come back from a place like that when they’ve never been equipped with the tools to cope?”
“Even if they’re freed from their addiction, could they live a normal life?”
To which I, perhaps annoyingly (at first), answered, “But we get to bring Jesus!”
We get to bring Jesus! The hope for a life broken beyond human repair; the hope for someone ill-equipped during their developmental years to live a purposeful life; the hope for redeeming the lost innocence of a child...that hope it Jesus. After my 3rd or 4th, “But Jesus,” we started to talk about Jesus. We talked about the power of Jesus to free; and not just to free, but to restore; and not just to restore, but to build up to bring freedom and restoration to others. Because Jesus’ healing power is thorough and amazingly beautiful to behold. We talked about how we don’t have to know the answer to details of the brokenness, we just need to love with the persevering, steadfast, redeeming love of Jesus poured out; how that love redeems the lives of the ones it lands on. We talked about how watching this process is “the greater thing” that Jesus told us we will see (He raised the dead, there’s no way you can get a bigger physical miracle than that), He was talking about us bringing His healing, redemptive, life-transforming love on the cross to a broken world and watching its power land upon needy souls bringing pure beauty from the ashes of the aftermath of sin.
Because THAT is what we bring when we answer the brokenness of the world with a relationship with Jesus. Scripture says we are “Ambassadors of Hope.” That fact should make our hearts leap; it should cause our feet to run into the darkness because the Light we carry has the power not just to dispel it...but to heal all that has been broken there.
Jesus is beautiful and He is enough!
And at the end of our conversation, the man was brimming with encouragement and he asked me,
“Have you told anyone this?”
And I can’t shake this question...”Have you told anyone this?”
I can’t shake it because he wasn’t asking me if I had told the lost, the bound, the weary in the broken world, he was asking me if I had told the Church.
I can’t shake this question. I can’t shake it, not because I don’t tell anyone who will listen to my passionate rants, but because my answer is simple. It is simple, yet so sobering I tear up every time it comes to mind:
“I thought they knew.”
As we spoke, questions arose. Questions like:
“Is there even hope to restore a life so broken?”
“Can someone emotionally and mentally come back from a place like that when they’ve never been equipped with the tools to cope?”
“Even if they’re freed from their addiction, could they live a normal life?”
To which I, perhaps annoyingly (at first), answered, “But we get to bring Jesus!”
We get to bring Jesus! The hope for a life broken beyond human repair; the hope for someone ill-equipped during their developmental years to live a purposeful life; the hope for redeeming the lost innocence of a child...that hope it Jesus. After my 3rd or 4th, “But Jesus,” we started to talk about Jesus. We talked about the power of Jesus to free; and not just to free, but to restore; and not just to restore, but to build up to bring freedom and restoration to others. Because Jesus’ healing power is thorough and amazingly beautiful to behold. We talked about how we don’t have to know the answer to details of the brokenness, we just need to love with the persevering, steadfast, redeeming love of Jesus poured out; how that love redeems the lives of the ones it lands on. We talked about how watching this process is “the greater thing” that Jesus told us we will see (He raised the dead, there’s no way you can get a bigger physical miracle than that), He was talking about us bringing His healing, redemptive, life-transforming love on the cross to a broken world and watching its power land upon needy souls bringing pure beauty from the ashes of the aftermath of sin.
Because THAT is what we bring when we answer the brokenness of the world with a relationship with Jesus. Scripture says we are “Ambassadors of Hope.” That fact should make our hearts leap; it should cause our feet to run into the darkness because the Light we carry has the power not just to dispel it...but to heal all that has been broken there.
Jesus is beautiful and He is enough!
And at the end of our conversation, the man was brimming with encouragement and he asked me,
“Have you told anyone this?”
And I can’t shake this question...”Have you told anyone this?”
I can’t shake it because he wasn’t asking me if I had told the lost, the bound, the weary in the broken world, he was asking me if I had told the Church.
I can’t shake this question. I can’t shake it, not because I don’t tell anyone who will listen to my passionate rants, but because my answer is simple. It is simple, yet so sobering I tear up every time it comes to mind:
“I thought they knew.”
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Love expanded: Part 2
to rest
©7-22-15 hannah mclean
He spreads out His love beneath me
and i feel upon my weathered skin
the softness of feathers
from the rocky place i lie
without strength
and yet
without condemnation
He asks but one thing of me
that i rest upon Him
He spreads out His love above me
like a canopy
creating a barrier between me
and the falling sky
His feathered wings
gather me in
He asks but one thing of me
that i rest in His shadow
He pours His love into me
like living water
rolling through a parched land
soaking Him in
He does not curse my desert
instead
He revives
He asks but one thing of me
that i rest in His life
©7-22-15 hannah mclean
He spreads out His love beneath me
and i feel upon my weathered skin
the softness of feathers
from the rocky place i lie
without strength
and yet
without condemnation
He asks but one thing of me
that i rest upon Him
He spreads out His love above me
like a canopy
creating a barrier between me
and the falling sky
His feathered wings
gather me in
He asks but one thing of me
that i rest in His shadow
He pours His love into me
like living water
rolling through a parched land
soaking Him in
He does not curse my desert
instead
He revives
He asks but one thing of me
that i rest in His life
Love expanded: Part 1
Before I launch into my thoughts, I want you to know that I am completely aware that in the scheme of human suffering and injustice, my struggles are not even a blip. That being said, they are still real struggles that, on an individual level, create a personal pain that I carry.
I was sharing some of my journey through my health problems with some of my sisters-in-the-Lord last night, and as I talked, God opened up a little window into some of His purposes for my pain.
Many years ago, when I exited the valley that makes the one I am currently in too familiar, I entered it without Jesus and exited it following Him. I looked at the sorrows of my failing health with humility and gratitude because if He hadn’t physically swept my feet from beneath me, I could not see a way I would have bowed my knee to Him. I entered my valley as a stubborn, independent, self-centered girl who spoke too quickly (often in anger), cared only about myself and kept the disappointing world at arm’s length because I “could take care of myself.” I exited the valley a teachable, dependent on God, prayerful woman who was willing to look into the eyes of a hurting world, requiring nothing from it. I am grateful for the revealed weaknesses, the months of literal silence, the pains I persevered through because through them, God spoke to me, revealed Himself to me and drew me into His arms.
But as I consider my health and the last 15 years, I have observed and experienced them through a distorted lens given to me from the pulpit throughout my childhood. The view of God’s love that I left my childhood church with was this: “The Lord disciplines the ones He loves.” While this is true, this is so far from an encompassing view of the love of God that were a person to observe all the pains of life through this narrow scope, they would invariably find themselves with an incredibly skewed understanding of God.
Because here’s the truth...yes, when I got sick, I was not walking with the Lord; I didn’t lean on Him, I didn’t follow Him, I didn’t love Him, I didn’t want much to do with Him. To be fair, I didn’t know HOW to do those things or what it would even look like or why it would be desirable. God used my health to draw me to Himself and I am eternally grateful...literally. But who I was then is not who I am now. I have walked with Jesus for 12 years; I follow Him, love Him, delight in Him, lean on Him, trust Him; He has taken out the heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh; He has an open invitation to shape and sanctify and use me however He wishes; to my knowledge, I withhold nothing from Him and deal with my sin before Him without fear. My heart is freely moldable in His loving hands...I do not require discipline because I am not wayward; I am sitting in His palm, I am clinging to His feet.
And God is uprooting my view of His love; the narrow-minded, painful view of what my suffering means to Him. Because if I believe He is disciplining me when my heart is devoted and submitted to Him, what kind of father is He? To take a life that says, “I want things Your way,” and to treat it as one that is rebellious, that would not be loving or kind or good (all of which God is), it would be cruel and abusive (which God is not). His love fits His nature and His character; infinite, merciful, unchanging, just, patient, good.
Yes, God is uprooting my view of His love, and with it, the distorted, confusing view of what my suffering means to Him. And this time, as I face my valley with its familiar, dreaded pains and symptoms, He is pushing back against the lies the enemy planted (“If I only do this better, God will bless me...if I can just grow in this area, God will give me what I desire...etc."). To every claim of effort and earning, He speaks the truth that His love for me is not contingent on how good or bad I am; that the purpose of my suffering is not discipline because our relationship has already been restored through Jesus; that ease of life does not accurately reflect abundance of love; that real Love seeks the eternal good that sometimes requires the temporal waiting...
So I am learning a lot about the love of the Lord; about His affections, His fervency, His glorious zeal for my good. And though I don’t have words to articulate what it is, I am beginning to recognize it, beginning to feel it, beginning to believe it and beginning to delight in the effects of it landing upon me...just as I am.
I was sharing some of my journey through my health problems with some of my sisters-in-the-Lord last night, and as I talked, God opened up a little window into some of His purposes for my pain.
Many years ago, when I exited the valley that makes the one I am currently in too familiar, I entered it without Jesus and exited it following Him. I looked at the sorrows of my failing health with humility and gratitude because if He hadn’t physically swept my feet from beneath me, I could not see a way I would have bowed my knee to Him. I entered my valley as a stubborn, independent, self-centered girl who spoke too quickly (often in anger), cared only about myself and kept the disappointing world at arm’s length because I “could take care of myself.” I exited the valley a teachable, dependent on God, prayerful woman who was willing to look into the eyes of a hurting world, requiring nothing from it. I am grateful for the revealed weaknesses, the months of literal silence, the pains I persevered through because through them, God spoke to me, revealed Himself to me and drew me into His arms.
But as I consider my health and the last 15 years, I have observed and experienced them through a distorted lens given to me from the pulpit throughout my childhood. The view of God’s love that I left my childhood church with was this: “The Lord disciplines the ones He loves.” While this is true, this is so far from an encompassing view of the love of God that were a person to observe all the pains of life through this narrow scope, they would invariably find themselves with an incredibly skewed understanding of God.
Because here’s the truth...yes, when I got sick, I was not walking with the Lord; I didn’t lean on Him, I didn’t follow Him, I didn’t love Him, I didn’t want much to do with Him. To be fair, I didn’t know HOW to do those things or what it would even look like or why it would be desirable. God used my health to draw me to Himself and I am eternally grateful...literally. But who I was then is not who I am now. I have walked with Jesus for 12 years; I follow Him, love Him, delight in Him, lean on Him, trust Him; He has taken out the heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh; He has an open invitation to shape and sanctify and use me however He wishes; to my knowledge, I withhold nothing from Him and deal with my sin before Him without fear. My heart is freely moldable in His loving hands...I do not require discipline because I am not wayward; I am sitting in His palm, I am clinging to His feet.
And God is uprooting my view of His love; the narrow-minded, painful view of what my suffering means to Him. Because if I believe He is disciplining me when my heart is devoted and submitted to Him, what kind of father is He? To take a life that says, “I want things Your way,” and to treat it as one that is rebellious, that would not be loving or kind or good (all of which God is), it would be cruel and abusive (which God is not). His love fits His nature and His character; infinite, merciful, unchanging, just, patient, good.
Yes, God is uprooting my view of His love, and with it, the distorted, confusing view of what my suffering means to Him. And this time, as I face my valley with its familiar, dreaded pains and symptoms, He is pushing back against the lies the enemy planted (“If I only do this better, God will bless me...if I can just grow in this area, God will give me what I desire...etc."). To every claim of effort and earning, He speaks the truth that His love for me is not contingent on how good or bad I am; that the purpose of my suffering is not discipline because our relationship has already been restored through Jesus; that ease of life does not accurately reflect abundance of love; that real Love seeks the eternal good that sometimes requires the temporal waiting...
So I am learning a lot about the love of the Lord; about His affections, His fervency, His glorious zeal for my good. And though I don’t have words to articulate what it is, I am beginning to recognize it, beginning to feel it, beginning to believe it and beginning to delight in the effects of it landing upon me...just as I am.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
"If I make my bed in the depths, You are there."
Life has been bumpy lately...like I’m sliding down a hill and hitting jagged rocks on the way down. I feel bruised and my eyes can’t see the top of the next mountain, only the darkness of the pit in which I reside. I’ve been here before, I recognized the rocks on the way down. It’s dark and I can’t see my feet; I dread the next step because I don’t know how much farther I have to go before the Lord lifts me up.
So some days are harder than others, and I have been grateful for the hands of Jesus that reach out to grab hold of my grasping hand; assuring me that I am not alone and reminding me that “though I fall, I will not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds my hand.” (Psalm 37:24)
Let’s be honest, my health sucks. I have been sick for 15 years. It’s true, I’ve had a stretch of probably 5 years in there where my body balanced out and I felt pretty good, but it doesn’t take more than the slightest breeze to send it back into chaos. It doesn’t help to tell me I look fine, I am not fine. And no, I can’t explain what is wrong because even the professionals can’t. Aside from my health, I’m not an unhealthy person; I exercise, eat healthy food, take my vitamins, have solid relationships and love Jesus...but my body just laughs at the science of living a healthy lifestyle.
To be honest, I’m in a hard place; I am worn out as I wait on a miracle from the Lord. I believe He is my Jehovah Rapha (the Lord who Heals), and I expect Him to be who He says He is. Most days I find peace in hope, because I’m hoping in a God who is always faithful to His word; some days I sincerely rejoice as though I have already received what He promised. But some days, I simply doubt; gut-wrenching, devastating hopelessness threatens to sweep me off of everything I stand on with the force of a tornado of fear, pain and the sense of abandonment. And those days, those days are the hard days where I have to make choices: Am I going to choose faith? Am I going to hold up the truths I know of God beside the facts of my health and choose to believe what I can’t see? Am I going to shout the name and mercy of Jesus in the face of the enemy’s accusations that His love and His blessing are not for me? Am I going to agree with the Truth or with the lies when it is the lies that make sense when one considers my physical well-being? Those days, those are the days I have to make the hard decisions: faith or fear? Truth or lies? Love or hate? Jesus or self?
I am grateful as I write this. I am grateful because I am proven...I want Jesus’ face more than His hand.
I am grateful as I write this. I am grateful because no matter the ugliness of my doubt and the fruit it bears, God presents me with His word where He declares His affection for me whereever I stand...or sit...or wallow:
Psalm 139:8–10
If i go up to the heavens, You are there;
if i make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If i rise on the wings of the dawn,
if i settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.
Oh the beautiful Jesus:
He is with me always.
He is with me when I worship Him; when from my earthly post my soul rises up to the heavens and my voice joins the hosts around His throne. He is there.
He is with me when I clamor in the depths of the pit; when I wallow in despair, unable to lift up my voice or my feet, doubting I can hope another day. He is there.
He is with me whether I am early or whether I am late.
He is with me whether I wander far or stand near.
He is there, His hand guides me because He is faithful.
His right hand holds me fast, because He is my anchor.
And my Anchor holds.
My Anchor holds when life is bumpy;
when everything around me is dark and the only light I can find
lies in the hope that the One who is sure is with me,
and when He deems the moment right,
He will lift me out of this desolate pit.
And between this moment and that one, perhaps you will put me into your prayers?
So some days are harder than others, and I have been grateful for the hands of Jesus that reach out to grab hold of my grasping hand; assuring me that I am not alone and reminding me that “though I fall, I will not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds my hand.” (Psalm 37:24)
Let’s be honest, my health sucks. I have been sick for 15 years. It’s true, I’ve had a stretch of probably 5 years in there where my body balanced out and I felt pretty good, but it doesn’t take more than the slightest breeze to send it back into chaos. It doesn’t help to tell me I look fine, I am not fine. And no, I can’t explain what is wrong because even the professionals can’t. Aside from my health, I’m not an unhealthy person; I exercise, eat healthy food, take my vitamins, have solid relationships and love Jesus...but my body just laughs at the science of living a healthy lifestyle.
To be honest, I’m in a hard place; I am worn out as I wait on a miracle from the Lord. I believe He is my Jehovah Rapha (the Lord who Heals), and I expect Him to be who He says He is. Most days I find peace in hope, because I’m hoping in a God who is always faithful to His word; some days I sincerely rejoice as though I have already received what He promised. But some days, I simply doubt; gut-wrenching, devastating hopelessness threatens to sweep me off of everything I stand on with the force of a tornado of fear, pain and the sense of abandonment. And those days, those days are the hard days where I have to make choices: Am I going to choose faith? Am I going to hold up the truths I know of God beside the facts of my health and choose to believe what I can’t see? Am I going to shout the name and mercy of Jesus in the face of the enemy’s accusations that His love and His blessing are not for me? Am I going to agree with the Truth or with the lies when it is the lies that make sense when one considers my physical well-being? Those days, those are the days I have to make the hard decisions: faith or fear? Truth or lies? Love or hate? Jesus or self?
I am grateful as I write this. I am grateful because I am proven...I want Jesus’ face more than His hand.
I am grateful as I write this. I am grateful because no matter the ugliness of my doubt and the fruit it bears, God presents me with His word where He declares His affection for me whereever I stand...or sit...or wallow:
Psalm 139:8–10
If i go up to the heavens, You are there;
if i make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If i rise on the wings of the dawn,
if i settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.
Oh the beautiful Jesus:
He is with me always.
He is with me when I worship Him; when from my earthly post my soul rises up to the heavens and my voice joins the hosts around His throne. He is there.
He is with me when I clamor in the depths of the pit; when I wallow in despair, unable to lift up my voice or my feet, doubting I can hope another day. He is there.
He is with me whether I am early or whether I am late.
He is with me whether I wander far or stand near.
He is there, His hand guides me because He is faithful.
His right hand holds me fast, because He is my anchor.
And my Anchor holds.
My Anchor holds when life is bumpy;
when everything around me is dark and the only light I can find
lies in the hope that the One who is sure is with me,
and when He deems the moment right,
He will lift me out of this desolate pit.
And between this moment and that one, perhaps you will put me into your prayers?
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Just a glimpse.
"Our burning passion for Christ should make nonbelievers question their unbelief.” ~ Kiera Woods
I came across this quote the other day and I love it. I remember meeting with a missions coordinator at an organization probably 8 years ago and sharing my testimony with him. I told him, “I wish I could give people a glimpse of God, I feel like if I could show them what I see, they would desire to know Him as much as I do because He is just so completely glorious and lovely.” He sort of chuckled at me and made a comment about how newer believers live in that hope, but the world is far harder to captivate. But still, all these years later, my expectation still stands; I truly believe that even one glimpse of Jesus, as He truly is, is enough to draw the heart and cause it to cling forever to the only One worthy of worship.
I often lament that I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to show Him to people; so I just keep loving Him and clinging to Him and worshiping Him and conforming my life to Him and doing what He asks of me...and I am hoping (and I think that is why this quote resonates so deeply with me), that somehow living out my burning passion for Christ will “make nonbelievers question their unbelief” and turn their eyes to look at the One who holds my gaze.
Because I really think that the only thing that will make heaven more glorious, is if it is filled with familiar faces proclaiming the glory of God and enjoying Him forever.
Hooray.
I came across this quote the other day and I love it. I remember meeting with a missions coordinator at an organization probably 8 years ago and sharing my testimony with him. I told him, “I wish I could give people a glimpse of God, I feel like if I could show them what I see, they would desire to know Him as much as I do because He is just so completely glorious and lovely.” He sort of chuckled at me and made a comment about how newer believers live in that hope, but the world is far harder to captivate. But still, all these years later, my expectation still stands; I truly believe that even one glimpse of Jesus, as He truly is, is enough to draw the heart and cause it to cling forever to the only One worthy of worship.
I often lament that I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to show Him to people; so I just keep loving Him and clinging to Him and worshiping Him and conforming my life to Him and doing what He asks of me...and I am hoping (and I think that is why this quote resonates so deeply with me), that somehow living out my burning passion for Christ will “make nonbelievers question their unbelief” and turn their eyes to look at the One who holds my gaze.
Because I really think that the only thing that will make heaven more glorious, is if it is filled with familiar faces proclaiming the glory of God and enjoying Him forever.
Hooray.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
it is good to grow again.
i believe You
©6-17-15 hannah mclean
sometimes i wonder
what You are doing in me
the curiosity of the pains
stirred up
the precision of the moments
of waiting
the joys found in Your presence
in prayer
how mysterious Your ways
as i ponder Your character
amidst the chaos
reveling in the peace
attained by hope
in the face of unchanged circumstances
i find that i believe You
not that You suddenly became trustworthy
but i am learning to trust
it’s strange really
this trust that transcends the details of life
it rests in something greater
and shields my heart against
the painful changes of a broken world;
the giving and the taking
the failing and the shaking
sometimes i wonder
what You are doing in me
because i don’t hear the words
of the Spirit’s groanings
i only feel their strength
i don’t hear the words
of the Savior’s intercession
i only know He accompanies me
to the Mercy Seat
but i receive
and i am receiving
and
i find that i believe You
maybe for the first time
aspects of Your love
Your favor
Your kindness
Your fervor
the sweetness of Your song
sung over me
notes stirring
my heart at depths
only You know
till praise arises from my mouth
in harmony with my Creator
i find i believe You
and You are glorious
Your ways are good
though curious
i wait for You
hoping and wondering
amid pain and prayer and peace
satisfied by Your presence
©6-17-15 hannah mclean
sometimes i wonder
what You are doing in me
the curiosity of the pains
stirred up
the precision of the moments
of waiting
the joys found in Your presence
in prayer
how mysterious Your ways
as i ponder Your character
amidst the chaos
reveling in the peace
attained by hope
in the face of unchanged circumstances
i find that i believe You
not that You suddenly became trustworthy
but i am learning to trust
it’s strange really
this trust that transcends the details of life
it rests in something greater
and shields my heart against
the painful changes of a broken world;
the giving and the taking
the failing and the shaking
sometimes i wonder
what You are doing in me
because i don’t hear the words
of the Spirit’s groanings
i only feel their strength
i don’t hear the words
of the Savior’s intercession
i only know He accompanies me
to the Mercy Seat
but i receive
and i am receiving
and
i find that i believe You
maybe for the first time
aspects of Your love
Your favor
Your kindness
Your fervor
the sweetness of Your song
sung over me
notes stirring
my heart at depths
only You know
till praise arises from my mouth
in harmony with my Creator
i find i believe You
and You are glorious
Your ways are good
though curious
i wait for You
hoping and wondering
amid pain and prayer and peace
satisfied by Your presence
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