Here is the picture God gave me: I am up on Your throne. Finding myself the size of an infant, I crawl backwards off Your throne and backwards until I am in my rightful place–bowing before it.
surrender
©9-17-10 hannah mclean
who am i–
self-exalted
sitting without authority
upon Your throne?
looking around
my eyes open to reality
why am i where only You belong?
i tremble at my smallness
dwarfed by the enormity of Your reign
i crawl backwards
off Your throne
my feet hit the ground
with a deafening thud
my hands and knees follow
i crawl backwards
to behold Your throne
rising immense before me
grateful to be where i belong–
bowing before You
who am i–
surrendered
basking in Your mercy?
i know that while You should cast me away
instead You accept my surrender
and my worship
who am i?
i am blessed
blessed to bow to You, my King
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
perseverance=fruit :)
Romans 5:1–5 "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance [perseverance], and endurance [perseverance] produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
perseverance
©9-16-10 hannah mclean
when i consider the places
i have walked
crawled
ran
and stumbled
the theme of perseverance
floods my mind
heart
soul
and spirit
prolonged trial
requiring choice:
to trust You
or to deny and seek another way
impatient nature
displaying ability to suffer long
You are the only way
such transformation has progressed
beautiful Lord
i can only praise You
Hope that does not put to shame
holds me upright
Holy Spirit
mold me as You will
steady my steps
as i persevere
to the end
Revelation 3:10–12 “Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth. I am coming soon. Hold fast what you have, so that no one may seize your crown. The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of My God, and the name of the city of My God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from My God out of heaven, and My own new name.”
Monday, September 13, 2010
"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise." Psalm 51:15
Isaiah 6:5–7 And I said: "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!" Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for."
lips that deprive You praise
©9-13-10 hannah mclean
forgive me of these lips
that have deprived You praise
when only endless worship
could declare your worth
i lament the words that displace You
woe am i of unclean lips
meet me with the coal
offered on the altar
and extended to Your own
forgive me of these lips
that have deprived You praise
when Your faithfulness shines
on my darkened soul
i lament and flee from idolatry
woe am i of unclean lips
meet me with the coal
offered on the altar
and extended to Your own
on my knees i plead
forgive me
open my lips
that i may declare Your praise
lips that deprive You praise
©9-13-10 hannah mclean
forgive me of these lips
that have deprived You praise
when only endless worship
could declare your worth
i lament the words that displace You
woe am i of unclean lips
meet me with the coal
offered on the altar
and extended to Your own
forgive me of these lips
that have deprived You praise
when Your faithfulness shines
on my darkened soul
i lament and flee from idolatry
woe am i of unclean lips
meet me with the coal
offered on the altar
and extended to Your own
on my knees i plead
forgive me
open my lips
that i may declare Your praise
hot, cold or lukewarm?
Your covering
©9-13-10 hannah mclean
i shiver
cold without Your covering
which i have pushed aside
yet again
why do i insist
on walking alone?
why does my heart wander
seeking familiar places
far from You?
why do i flee the wrong direction?
slamming into walls
tripping over debris
scraped and bruised and weakened
i shiver
faithful Father
it is You who open my eyes
to behold my gaping flesh
and the dark places in which i fester
it is Your hand that lifts me up
and carries my limping body
to the place from which i wandered
it is Your heart, moved by compassion,
that will not leave me
even when i push you aside
You warm me with Your covering
till i am ablaze with praise
©9-13-10 hannah mclean
i shiver
cold without Your covering
which i have pushed aside
yet again
why do i insist
on walking alone?
why does my heart wander
seeking familiar places
far from You?
why do i flee the wrong direction?
slamming into walls
tripping over debris
scraped and bruised and weakened
i shiver
faithful Father
it is You who open my eyes
to behold my gaping flesh
and the dark places in which i fester
it is Your hand that lifts me up
and carries my limping body
to the place from which i wandered
it is Your heart, moved by compassion,
that will not leave me
even when i push you aside
You warm me with Your covering
till i am ablaze with praise
Friday, September 10, 2010
pieces of poems
Colossians 2:9–10, Psalm 16:11
©hannah mclean
Filled by Him in whom all fullness dwells
Filled in Him with whom there is no wane or swell
Complete in perfect measure is
He who need not change
Bowing, we reach out to claim
the fullness of His name
____
Psalm 31
©hannah mclean
When troubles assail me
when trials derail me
when burdens outweigh me
when sorrows dissuade me
I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, “You are my God."
My times are in Your mighty hand
and I stand.
___
Mark 12:41–44
©hannah mclean
the two copper coins echo as they fall
ringing out a humble widow’s offering of all
a gift that’s far too short to meet the world’s demands
belittled when viewed beside the rich man’s hand
but You say to the ones who follow You, “come see,
an offering that’s worthy of Me
a greater gift than what the others give combined
for all she has was offered from her palm to Mine”
how glorious Your measure
how merciful Your pleasure
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Sadness surrounding acceptance.
This is something I've been thinking a lot about, feeling the pain and sadness of, and coming into realization of the realities of my situation. It may come across as harsh, but I am hoping it comes across as direct and honest as I have attempted to articulate what is most likely too deep for my words:
ACCEPTING you
does not mean that I must
AGREE with you
and AFFIRM your choices.
It means I take you
as you are.
Somewhere along the way, our culture has twisted the word acceptance, seeking from it what it is not required to, and often cannot, give. I live in a culture where the majority of people hold, model, uplift and celebrate beliefs, practices and worldviews that I do not agree with. To the best of my ability (I am a work in progress who is learning daily), I walk in the truth of the bible, and as “narrow” as that may make me, it is not a book of truth that I designed; it has been laid out for me by the one true God. If I am “narrow” because of it, it is not actually I who offend you.
However, like I said, I live in a pluralistic society; a society that celebrates things that grieve my heart; a culture that denies that there is one truth and clings to the belief that they get to do “truth a la carte,” picking and choosing what they want to be real and discarding what they don’t; a culture that calls for acceptance.
To the best of my ability, I seek to take people as they are. I don’t cram my religious beliefs down their throats, insisting they take ahold of them. I don’t set out with motives of changing people’s minds when I speak with them. I attempt to listen and understand a person and their experiences.
But do I speak and live out what I believe? Yes, I do. Not perfectly (since I am human, and all), but often with more conviction than many, because I am fully convinced of the one true God of the bible to Whom there is only one way, Jesus Christ.
What frustrates and saddens me is that often times before a person will receive or believe my acceptance and love, they have placed a requirement on me that I first must agree with their choices and affirm their way of living. This is an unreasonable requirement, because in the light of my beliefs and convictions, I cannot do so without severely dishonoring my God and watering down the name of Jesus.
I often find myself wanting to yell, “WHY are you insisting that I judge you?” I am not called to judge my fellow human beings, I am also not called to affirm or agree with them; I am called to love them. And, I am not called to love them the way they may want me to, I am called to love them as Christ loves me.
So, let me tell you about Christ's love for me. 1 John says that “this is love; not that I love God, but that HE loves me and laid down His life for me.” My love is fickle; it would rather walk away from unlovable actions and personalities; it is based on feeling and the whim of my swaying heart; it has me, my happiness and my comfort at the center; its actions often come from a longing to fill empty space with an object to love. WHY would someone want THAT, when they could be loved God’s way? God’s love for me is entirely different: It is unchanging, committed love with pure motives and promise backing it up; it springs from fullness and a desire to share the joy of fullness of love with people; it is sacrificial, willing to undergo death itself for the good of its enemies; it transforms by its mere presence because it desires more for us than our love for ourselves allows; it pursues the unlovable, the outcast, the sinner with passionate persistence and kindness beyond what we could imagine or even know to desire; it is offered at a great price, one that can never be repaid or earned; it is complete and does not demand or take from the one it lands upon; it is merciful, gracious, patient, firm and shepherding; the one who dares receive and believe it cannot help but respond with everything they are, have and desire.
I believe what the bible tells me is true: I am a sinner who has separated myself from the One true God, who is perfect and just. I cannot restore that relationship myself, but God, in His infinite love and mercy, sent His son Jesus to bare the wrath and punishment my sinful actions require for pure justice to be upheld and deep relationship to be restored to the One I have offended. There is only way to God; Jesus Christ, whom everyone has the opportunity to cling to through grace by faith. God Himself, sent Himself (Jesus) to save us from and for Himself. That is what I walk in.
And while these beliefs may not allow for me to affirm your choices or agree with your worldview, they call me to love you as and where you are. Whether you are willing to receive what I can offer or reject me because I cannot give what you demand is entirely up to you.
ACCEPTING you
does not mean that I must
AGREE with you
and AFFIRM your choices.
It means I take you
as you are.
Somewhere along the way, our culture has twisted the word acceptance, seeking from it what it is not required to, and often cannot, give. I live in a culture where the majority of people hold, model, uplift and celebrate beliefs, practices and worldviews that I do not agree with. To the best of my ability (I am a work in progress who is learning daily), I walk in the truth of the bible, and as “narrow” as that may make me, it is not a book of truth that I designed; it has been laid out for me by the one true God. If I am “narrow” because of it, it is not actually I who offend you.
However, like I said, I live in a pluralistic society; a society that celebrates things that grieve my heart; a culture that denies that there is one truth and clings to the belief that they get to do “truth a la carte,” picking and choosing what they want to be real and discarding what they don’t; a culture that calls for acceptance.
To the best of my ability, I seek to take people as they are. I don’t cram my religious beliefs down their throats, insisting they take ahold of them. I don’t set out with motives of changing people’s minds when I speak with them. I attempt to listen and understand a person and their experiences.
But do I speak and live out what I believe? Yes, I do. Not perfectly (since I am human, and all), but often with more conviction than many, because I am fully convinced of the one true God of the bible to Whom there is only one way, Jesus Christ.
What frustrates and saddens me is that often times before a person will receive or believe my acceptance and love, they have placed a requirement on me that I first must agree with their choices and affirm their way of living. This is an unreasonable requirement, because in the light of my beliefs and convictions, I cannot do so without severely dishonoring my God and watering down the name of Jesus.
I often find myself wanting to yell, “WHY are you insisting that I judge you?” I am not called to judge my fellow human beings, I am also not called to affirm or agree with them; I am called to love them. And, I am not called to love them the way they may want me to, I am called to love them as Christ loves me.
So, let me tell you about Christ's love for me. 1 John says that “this is love; not that I love God, but that HE loves me and laid down His life for me.” My love is fickle; it would rather walk away from unlovable actions and personalities; it is based on feeling and the whim of my swaying heart; it has me, my happiness and my comfort at the center; its actions often come from a longing to fill empty space with an object to love. WHY would someone want THAT, when they could be loved God’s way? God’s love for me is entirely different: It is unchanging, committed love with pure motives and promise backing it up; it springs from fullness and a desire to share the joy of fullness of love with people; it is sacrificial, willing to undergo death itself for the good of its enemies; it transforms by its mere presence because it desires more for us than our love for ourselves allows; it pursues the unlovable, the outcast, the sinner with passionate persistence and kindness beyond what we could imagine or even know to desire; it is offered at a great price, one that can never be repaid or earned; it is complete and does not demand or take from the one it lands upon; it is merciful, gracious, patient, firm and shepherding; the one who dares receive and believe it cannot help but respond with everything they are, have and desire.
I believe what the bible tells me is true: I am a sinner who has separated myself from the One true God, who is perfect and just. I cannot restore that relationship myself, but God, in His infinite love and mercy, sent His son Jesus to bare the wrath and punishment my sinful actions require for pure justice to be upheld and deep relationship to be restored to the One I have offended. There is only way to God; Jesus Christ, whom everyone has the opportunity to cling to through grace by faith. God Himself, sent Himself (Jesus) to save us from and for Himself. That is what I walk in.
And while these beliefs may not allow for me to affirm your choices or agree with your worldview, they call me to love you as and where you are. Whether you are willing to receive what I can offer or reject me because I cannot give what you demand is entirely up to you.
Monday, August 2, 2010
moved to worship by His love
sold
©8-2-10 hannah mclean
sold
i am sold out
for You
eyes closed
heart soaring
worship flows for You alone
all laid out before You
naught withheld
joy sustaining
longing for You
to receive Your worth
unable to provide from my hands
but all i am
all i have
is laid out before You
offered in love and thanksgiving
at the foot of Your throne
joy overflowing
sold
i am sold out
for You
Your presence my desire
Your mercy my hope
Your glory my goal
Your worth my worship
tears pour
a mere sprinkle
in the presence of Your lavish grace
though my lips are silent
as i kneel before You
joy and worship sweep
through and around me
like a uplifting wind
one word rolls through my mind:
sold
i am sold out
for You,
my Savior
my Lord
my King
joy everlasting
©8-2-10 hannah mclean
sold
i am sold out
for You
eyes closed
heart soaring
worship flows for You alone
all laid out before You
naught withheld
joy sustaining
longing for You
to receive Your worth
unable to provide from my hands
but all i am
all i have
is laid out before You
offered in love and thanksgiving
at the foot of Your throne
joy overflowing
sold
i am sold out
for You
Your presence my desire
Your mercy my hope
Your glory my goal
Your worth my worship
tears pour
a mere sprinkle
in the presence of Your lavish grace
though my lips are silent
as i kneel before You
joy and worship sweep
through and around me
like a uplifting wind
one word rolls through my mind:
sold
i am sold out
for You,
my Savior
my Lord
my King
joy everlasting
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